See, my mom and I were thinking about it and we think that it all started in the 3rd grade. That's when my dad got married to the evil b***h and that's when she just started hating me for some odd reason. So, for whatever reason that was, it gave her permission to treat me like s**t from now and forever on. I can remember coming home from a plane and just being so angry at everything that I would just ignore everything and everyone. I couldn't tell anyone how mad I was because I've always been taught to be respectful of people. So, I guess after a long time of me just coming back pissed, my mom thought it was time to try something new. Anger managment. I went there for about a week or three and mom could tell that it was only making me more angry.
So the years fly by and nothing's worked. But by this time, I'm just trying to get by in school now. Somewhere along the line, I just stoped carring about everything that there was to me. I stoped carring about my diet, my fashion, my homework, and even myself. My mom thought that I had ADD so in the 7th grade, we got some medication for it. It worked, but I was still slaking in school. My mom didn't know what to do so she just tried to be more hard on me. That only made me think that she was annoying. But, that all changed when Stephen came into the picture.
We became good friends. We would always be seen with each other and sometimes thought of as a couple. He would always just show up at my house whether I was willing to go with him or not. But he would always just tell me that he had a new girlfriend and that bugged me a lot cause I liked him ya know? So, everytime he got a new girl, I would always seem a little bit more sad. Until they broke up a few days later. lol That boy just couldn't stick with someone. He was so funny too. We always had our little inside jokes and stuff. The best one I think was "Don't run!!" lmao. That was the best day ever. But ... It all changed so quickly. A couple months later, I went over to my friend Sierria's house to spill my guts out to her about how bad I felt about a few days eariler. So, we call him to tell him that I was sorry for being so harsh on him. But that somehow turned into Sierria telling him about how I really felt about him.
I never saw him after that day.
At first, I didn't think much of it cause we would always have long pauses of being together. But those days turned into weeks and I started to get really worried. I tried going to his school and talk to him but I could never find him in the sea of people. I gave up for a little bit, crying every night just to put me to sleep. But after the first couple of months, I said no more crying for something that's never coming back. It seemed like I was in the clear of things, but everytime I forgot about him, something brought him back up. Whether it be someone bringing him up in the conversation or just remembering him when I walked around my own house. I started hating my house for holding so many memories ... I wouldn't go down in the basement, swim in the pool, walk around my own backyard, or even sit on my couch. I could never go in the creek again. That's where we hung out the most. But when I finally did, the rope we used to swing on was still there. Just swaying back and forth in the wind. I have to take the bridge we used to vandalize with spray paint to get home now and I always stop to look at what we've done together. I rememeber the day so clearly, he did a bunch of satanist symbols and I just did a heart. I couldn't think of anything else to do. But, it's all in the past now and there's nothing I can do about it.
When I think about it more, it wasn't just those two. It was my friends before all this happened and myself. We would always be doing something crazy one day after another. We all had fun. But, I never really did have good friends who would stick with me when I wanted to play with them. Brittany was the worst. We would be playing in our creek, then Ashley, my next door neighbor, would come over to play as well. Brittany liked her better and just started to ignore me when she was there. I would always come home crying. But I kept coming back to her. To this day .. I have no idea what I saw in her. She was a spoiled, rotten little brat who always got what she wanted. She would go to Las Vegas twice a year cause he dad worked hard to earn the money. She had a loving mom who would get her anything in a heart beat and loved her very much. But now, her dad dosen't work and her mom's never there. All she has is her boyfriend who's annoying, but kind hearted. Her parents still love her I'm guessing, but they don't show it too well.
Sucks to be her.
So, I just basicly told you my life story right? Well, only half of it. I never told you where I was from, what two things I've had even before I was born, when my birthday is, what color my eyes are .... I could tell you, but then I'd get all wraped up in the moment and just tell you another chapter of my life in this journal. So, I guess you're going to have to find out yourselves. ;P
~* Brii brii *~
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