E X I S T E N C E BY CHU NYAN JAN . 14 . 2007 Even now, she still would cry. Her heart filled with pain and sorrow. 'I just don't want to hurt anyone else anymore. The tears they make, the scars they get, were all for me. A selfish girl like me shouldn't even exist in this world.' She thought while squinting her eyes, 'Erase me from your life, but you'll always still be in mine.' Her smile was weak, but somewhat chearful, filling her own broken heart.
She would lay there, lost in horrible thoughts, her mind killing her. In the end, she'd die, she'd die like last time. Pain would rush through her whole body, stabbing her happiness. 'In the end, you'll forget me. And I'll slowly walk away...Alone...unwanted.' Tears filled her eyes, 'It hurts...all of it. Seeing you and that other girl together. It really does hurt me!' She wanted to tell her speacil person that, but could never. She couldn't find that courage inside of her as it was left in a dark area of her mind.
She would sit there, in her room. Looking down at her feet. 'It's as if I don't exist in his mind, I'm only a puppet he'd use.' She threw her computer onto the ground, crashing it's hard drive. 'I hate it all! You and that girl! Get out of my mind, just leave me alone!' Whenever she sees him again, she'd hide and pretend that'd she was happy and had no bothers. But the truth was that she still loved him, loved him dearly. No matter how she tries to forget him, he always find a way back into her mind.
'If only if you never met me, you'd be alone with no stalker. I would have been happy and not in love.' Her room was dark, filled with nothing but haterd for herself. 'You know everything about me, and I don't know a thing about you. But even that couldn't have stopped me from likeing you at all.' Day and night, she'd think about him, still loving him with all her might. 'I wish you'd turn back to look at me, stop using me to get toward that other girl, making her jelous. I love you and hate you, that's all I'm going to say...'
Writer Comments: I really do mean this. I normally don't get noticed by a few people, and get used. For some reason, I carry haterd for myself and have a secret crush on some person. Everytime I try to forget about that person, he somehow come back into my mind. He never really did apologize to me, or even tell me directly why he went off with someone else. But, I guess it's all okay ^^;. This is all part of life. I DID NOT REALLY KILL MY COMPUTER xD.
Chu Nyan · Sun Jan 14, 2007 @ 09:37pm · 0 Comments |