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******** FSU, ******** UCF, ******** UF, ******** FAU, ******** any other schools that I can't think of at the moment. I'm going to go to a community college and get my Associates degree before moving on to a university and getting my Bachelor's, all in theatre. I hate the idea. From my first day of high school I wanted to do good enough to get some scholarships and get out of this state. Then I realized it would be better financially to stay in-state. Now I also see that it's not only better financially to go to a community college, I also won't get anywhere with grades like mine. C's and D's. I've got one A. Want to guess the subject? Study hall. They've been falling since junior year and I don't think my GPA is even at 2.0 anymore.

What happened, you ask? Everything. My first mistake was taking APUSH last year. God only knows how I even passed that class. I was in a play that year too, which meant more time rehearsing and less time for homework. After having a couple... conversations with the director made me realize that would be the last show I was in. The fact that my grades were slipping only added to it. I was also diagnosed with clinical depression, after attempting suicide, and epilepsy, after... well, going into a seizure... duh. So even if I was conscious and in school, I thought more about death than actually doing s**t. Yes, insert all the emo jokes you want here. I'm not making excuses, I'm saying that I had a little help while digging this hole.

Now I've only got two ways out: I can waste money and get letters from colleges telling me that they won't accept me and then turn to CC, or skip the crap and go to CC; or just say ******** it and head to New York City. That's where I'm going after college, why waste the four years? (that's sarcasm, by the way)

Imagine what it's like telling friends, relatives, hell, even teachers. It's become obvious that my theatre teachers look down on CC's, and when they found out, I'm sure they were disappointed but not surprised. I've only got two friends who I know are also going to/at the CC, and the rest are moving on to actual schools. As for my parents, well, that didn't surprise me. My mother is having money problems and understands that this is the best idea right now, and my father (they're divorced) thinks she is brainwashing me.

On a random note, the very last play I'll have a chance to be a part of is auditioning the last week of January. The director is the teacher I'm closest to; I've had her in some class for the past three years and she knows I'm working hard. Of course I'm going to audition, but with only two males in the cast (and three females)... I have a good idea who will be in it. The department plays favorites, everyone knows that, and I'm just not a favorite. Far from it. Oh well. Maybe I'll get on a crew.