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Ryan, a journal of me
I just...


I just don't know....
I can't think,
i've lost the ability to care for anything now...
All emotion has just died inside of me.
I'm not sad,
but, i'm not happy.
It seems my life is one giant permenent spiral downwords.
Oh well.
Oh look, i'm happy see;
lol, rofl
HAHA, nice!
.........
no.
.........
See how easy it is to fake being happy?
I've mastered faking being happy,
by the end of tomorrow, i'll be the "happiest" person ever.
But in reality, Happy is no longer a true emotion for me.
To laugh at sumtihng does not mean that your happy,
it simply means that you've found a humour.
But to be happy, that's to be purely positive, to be glad at what's going on,
to NOT be sad.
And although i no longer feel sad,
I think that that is the closest word to describe how i feel.
No, that's to simple, Depressed would be it,
But depressed is a condition, it's physical as well as emotional.
I wonder where a word thingy is in my house
(that thing that's not a dictionary >.> wink
I know what it IS, but i have no idea how to spell it <_<
So, since i was only writing this because i havn't wrote in a while, i'll now end it.
And on a side note;


I tried so hard,
And got so far,
But in the end,
It doesn't even matter.

^that is how i feel^






User Comments: [6] [add]
cinnaroo in a blender
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Jan 21, 2007 @ 07:33pm
now you know how i felt before i moved. that exact song lyric was the only thing going through my mind.

and now that i'm going through that again, you aren't being a big help.

look, if you ever read this, i hope you figure out that i want you to be happier because seeing you sad doesn't make it any easier on me. just try your best to be a little happier, truly happier, every day, and i know you can do it. try to think of how much better it will be for me. try to think about how this will give you an opportunity to make new and better friends.

i am not the end of your world.

i'm just the beginning of a new chapter.


commentCommented on: Mon Jan 22, 2007 @ 06:06am
Somehow, i doubt that that was ogoing through your head, because you claim to hate that song.

And besides, of said it before, i don't make friends easily.
And who am i supposed to make friends with huh?
Half the people i know, i only know THROUGH you.



Dwarf Woot
Community Member
XxXChocolate BubblegumXxX
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Jan 23, 2007 @ 06:10am
and... ur emo! mrgreen


commentCommented on: Mon Jan 29, 2007 @ 09:32pm
i love that song!!!!!!! yay! ninja



xXxSatans-1stxXx
Community Member
xXxPrincessGlowSticksxXx
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Feb 13, 2007 @ 07:31am
Woot-A-Licious:
You should totally know that no matter what, your friends will always be there for you.
And those that refuse to help you shouldn't call themselves your friend.
They dont deserve you, not the other way around ^.^ But always think about the bright side, the good things after a day full of bad luck..

I am always here for you. ^.^ Just send me a pm.

Your friend (forever and ever, you can't shake me off xD)
heart xXxPrincessGlowSticksxXx heart


User Comments: [6] [add]
 
 
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