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I found the old letters Raymond sent to me. Boy...they made me cry.

I also found my letters to him. I read them over, and I still mean every word in those letters.

Though the icing on the cake had to be the pictures Melissa took on the first day we met at Pizza Hut. They are our only pictures together. I kept one.

Even then Raymond had a nice face. Though hes grown up so much since then, while it looks like I barely changed at all.

Someone please make the pain stop. I honestly can't take much more. All I want to do is prove to him that I can be different, that I can be who I used to be. The person he fell in love with.

Though what I need more is to go out on dates, but I don't know how to do it. I don't want to ask someone and have them turn me down. I can't take rejection very well right now.

Its the only way I can really figure out my feelings. I still want to try. I want to succeed in making him happy again. Even though everyone tells me that Raymond will only hurt me more.

Of course he will, but I want to take that chance. I went though so much, that whatever else will be childs play.

*sigh*

All is fair in love and war. And from the looks of it, its is war now.

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