> Subject: All About Chain Mail (fwd)
>
>
> By Dennis Leary...
>
> Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from
> rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams,
> extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and
> executed by a**l electrocution, and guilt for not
> forwarding out 50 billion ******** chain letters sent
> to me by people who actually believe that if you send
> them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas
> with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise
> enough money to have it removed before her redneck
> parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.
>
> Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
> give $1000 to you and everyone you send "his" email
> to? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I
> scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
> by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch
> of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big ********
> YOU to all the people out there who have nothing
> better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
> forwards.
>
> Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
> my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not
> continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 AD
> and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on
> the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000,
> it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for
> longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. ********
> them. If you're going to forward something, at least
> send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the
> "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this
> poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
> receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards
> about 90 times. I don't ******** care. Show a little
> intelligence and think about what you're actually
> contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are
> it's your own unpopularity.
>
> THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> Chain Letter Type 1:
> (scroll down)
>
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> Make a wish!!!
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> No, really, go on and make one!!!
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> Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
>
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> Wish something else!!!
>
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>
>
> Not that, you pervert!!
>
>
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>
> Is your finger getting tired yet?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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>
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>
>
> STOP!!!!
>
>
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>
>
>
> Wasn't that fun? smile Hope you made a great wish smile
> Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
> First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in
> the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat
> and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
> It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of
> those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really !!!
> Here's how it goes:
>
> Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off
> at you for sending them a stupid chain letter. Send
> this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at
> you for sending them a stupid chain letter. Send this
> to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed ff at you
> for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a
> plot on your life. Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20
> people will be pissed off at you for sending them a
> stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
>
> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Chain Letter Type 2:
>
> Hello and thank you for reading this. There is a
> starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has
> no arms, no legs, no parents and no goats. This little
> boy's life could be saved, because for every time you
> pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
> Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
> Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we
> have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and
> this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on,
> reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
> seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send
> this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
>
> Thanks again!!
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
> Chain Letter Type 3:
>
> Hi there!!! This chain letter has been in existence
> since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because
> there was no email then and probably not many sad
> ricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it
> works:
>
> Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
> something horrible will happen to you like:
>
> Bizarre Horror Story #1
> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
> Saturday. She had recently received this letter and
> ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
> sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
> drainpipe in a flood of poop, and went flying out over
> a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.
> This Could Happen To You!!
>
> Bizarre Horror Story #2
> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in
> his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by
> a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing
> that way). They both died and went to hell and were
> cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
> This Could Happen To You Too!!!
>
>
> Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip.
> Just send this letter to all of your loser friends,
> and everything will be okay.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
> Chain Letter Type 4:
>
> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Sent it
> to every one of your friends.
>
> Friends:
> A friend is someone who is always at your side,
> A friend is someone who likes you even though you
> stink of s**t,
> And your breath smells like you've been eating
> catfood,
> A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
> as ugly as a hat full of assholes,
> A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
> soiled yourself,
> A friend is someone who stays with you all night while
> you cry about your sad, sad life,
> A friend is someone who pretends they like you when
> they really think you should be raped by mad goats,
> then thrown to vicious dogs,
> A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums
> and then gets the cheque and leaves and doesn't speak
> much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
> A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters
> because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
>
> Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex
> ever again.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
> The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
> threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
> rest of your life delete it. If it's funny, send it
> on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty
> about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been
> tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only
> saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
> forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like
> Miranda.
>
> Right?
>
> Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll
> find all your knickers missing tomorrow morning.
>
>
> By Dennis Leary...
>
> Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from
> rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams,
> extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and
> executed by a**l electrocution, and guilt for not
> forwarding out 50 billion ******** chain letters sent
> to me by people who actually believe that if you send
> them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas
> with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise
> enough money to have it removed before her redneck
> parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.
>
> Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
> give $1000 to you and everyone you send "his" email
> to? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I
> scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
> by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch
> of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big ********
> YOU to all the people out there who have nothing
> better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
> forwards.
>
> Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
> my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not
> continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 AD
> and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on
> the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000,
> it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for
> longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. ********
> them. If you're going to forward something, at least
> send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the
> "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this
> poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
> receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards
> about 90 times. I don't ******** care. Show a little
> intelligence and think about what you're actually
> contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are
> it's your own unpopularity.
>
> THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> Chain Letter Type 1:
> (scroll down)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Make a wish!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> No, really, go on and make one!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Wish something else!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Not that, you pervert!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Is your finger getting tired yet?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> STOP!!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Wasn't that fun? smile Hope you made a great wish smile
> Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
> First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in
> the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat
> and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
> It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of
> those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really !!!
> Here's how it goes:
>
> Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off
> at you for sending them a stupid chain letter. Send
> this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at
> you for sending them a stupid chain letter. Send this
> to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed ff at you
> for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a
> plot on your life. Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20
> people will be pissed off at you for sending them a
> stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
>
> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Chain Letter Type 2:
>
> Hello and thank you for reading this. There is a
> starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has
> no arms, no legs, no parents and no goats. This little
> boy's life could be saved, because for every time you
> pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
> Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
> Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we
> have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and
> this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on,
> reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
> seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send
> this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
>
> Thanks again!!
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
> Chain Letter Type 3:
>
> Hi there!!! This chain letter has been in existence
> since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because
> there was no email then and probably not many sad
> ricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it
> works:
>
> Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
> something horrible will happen to you like:
>
> Bizarre Horror Story #1
> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
> Saturday. She had recently received this letter and
> ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
> sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
> drainpipe in a flood of poop, and went flying out over
> a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.
> This Could Happen To You!!
>
> Bizarre Horror Story #2
> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in
> his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by
> a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing
> that way). They both died and went to hell and were
> cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
> This Could Happen To You Too!!!
>
>
> Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip.
> Just send this letter to all of your loser friends,
> and everything will be okay.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
> Chain Letter Type 4:
>
> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Sent it
> to every one of your friends.
>
> Friends:
> A friend is someone who is always at your side,
> A friend is someone who likes you even though you
> stink of s**t,
> And your breath smells like you've been eating
> catfood,
> A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
> as ugly as a hat full of assholes,
> A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
> soiled yourself,
> A friend is someone who stays with you all night while
> you cry about your sad, sad life,
> A friend is someone who pretends they like you when
> they really think you should be raped by mad goats,
> then thrown to vicious dogs,
> A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums
> and then gets the cheque and leaves and doesn't speak
> much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
> A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters
> because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
>
> Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex
> ever again.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
> The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
> threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
> rest of your life delete it. If it's funny, send it
> on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty
> about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been
> tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only
> saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
> forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like
> Miranda.
>
> Right?
>
> Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll
> find all your knickers missing tomorrow morning.
Community Member
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen you say? Sounds exotic :3