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Ok, everyone has seen this before. But I am reposting with my own commentary added for your amusement. By the way. The dumb-a**, ignorant parents who wrote this thing should be lined up against a firing squad and shot to death. And then shot again.

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may
have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture
leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness,
and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five
or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing. -Black is a good color. It's slimming. Not to mention covers any sweat that might be visible otherwise.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. -This means every kid on the entire ******** planet is goth.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. -Sorry kids. Wearing makeup makes you evil

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic
worshipping symbols. -Silly morons. You just don't like other religions. That's all.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. -Oh s**t! My moms goth!

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) -I saw a site today, that said that Good Charlotte was evil devil worhsipping music...it was weird...

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. -Name someone who doesn't associated with people who dress or act like them?

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church or sports. -That's right. If you don't play sports you are Satan's child!

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. -Death involves Satan?! Holy s**t! Dead people are Satanists!

-Takes drugs. -No, retard. That's a drug addict.

-Drinks alcohol. -That is known as an alcoholic. Not goth. I think you are getting your words mixed up.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed. -No, that person is suicidal/depressed. They need help, not hate.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This
is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental
health center.) This one just pisses me off on an almost completely unthinkable level. So I am not even going to start. It will be a long a** rant.

-Complains of boredom. WHAT THE MOTHER ******** HELL?! You ********! So boredom equals evil to these people?! I am just...confused...

-Sleeps too excessively or too little. Means they suffer from insomnia or are working themselves too hard. Not goth. Probably just stressed.

-Is excessively awake during the night. Insomnia retards...

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) Vampires don't like light 'cause it ******** hurts! Same reason I don't. Sunburn blows ok?

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. maybe they're tired of your overbeasring a** breathing down their necks all the friggin time...

-Spends large amounts of time alone. To think perhaps? Wait no. Thinking is evil too. Nevermind.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chil may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.) -Seriously, that one just makes me laugh. Maybe the kid has a headache. Or has something on their mind they need to work out? Or I could be wrong. maybe your kids really do talk to Satan. Hide, they are going to kill you.

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.
- That = goth? Confused! I thought it was just kids wanting to hang out?!
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this. -If the authority figures I had to deal with were like this, I'd do the same thing...

-Misbehaves at school. The preppy kids act worse than I do?

-Misbehaves at home. They can't help it. Satan commands them to do so...

-Eats excessively or too little. -I am sorry your kid has an eating disorder. You have no one to blame but yourself idiot.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of
this. -OH my ******** GAWD!!! My 8 year old cousins are goth! Holy s**t!

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.) -Stupid, vampires do it 'cause they're thirsty. Like me. That's why I do it. No seriously, that just means your kid has issues...

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) -Is Spongebob proper programming?

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. -No RPG's? Damn...Those are the only good kind of games to play...

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer. -Note that this list was found on the internet.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. -Hahahahahasha! Head banging=evil! Your headache is Satanic!

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. Rap videos are Satanic! Oh shizzers!

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. -Ellen Degeneres? Ellen is goth!? How come no one told me this sooner?!

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
- I am not even joking when I say I am surprised Judaism isn't on here. God, these guys are ******** Nazi's.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-If your kid wears a pin saying "I'm a goth." beat them. They're posers anyway.

-Claims to be a goth. -Again poser. Just kill them now. Posers are Satan's children. No joke.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local
mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church