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but he doesn't want me any more. i guess i was right. no one needs me. on the outside they say it but on the inside they know theyre lying. It was hard for me at first to realize it was over. because at first he said it would last forever and that we would never break up. i kept asking a question to myself. "would we ever be more the bf and gf?" i told him my question a few times. He actually understood what I was saying and he said he wanted to but he didnt know when. A few weeks ago he said he wanted to ask me something but he wanted to say it at the right time. I couldnt wait till he told me! A few days ago i thought he would say it on valentines day since he didnt tell me yet. Now i know its not valentines or any day. He's never going to ask me and i wish he couldve told me earlier. He broke my heart and i dont know if it will ever be the same again. He said he doesnt want to see me for a while and that we should see other people. but i dont want to do that. what if i found another guy who i really like and he comes back saying he's ready to get back together? i dont want that to happen. he said we spent too much time together. i cant help that. i want to talk to him all the time because he is the only one i really have to talk to. he was a person i could trust but i guess that was a lie just like he loved me. I guess im just imperfect and that i cant be with anyone unless i want to get into a fight and break up. he said i was cheating on him, and playing with other guys. i dont want that any more but i love him too much. I need him. but i dont want to be with someone who says things that are untrue. I cant believe i was so foolish in to believing him. I guess its for the best. I want him to be happy and if he isnt happy with me then I'll let him be and do what he needs to do. I just need to forget about him and hope for the best. Im so pathetic! i hate myself and how stupid i am to let a guy get to my heart like that. and im also still wondering what the question was. i guess the next time i talk to him, if i ever will talk to him, i'll ask him. There's no use to wait for the right time if its over.

I guess thats that. My love life is over and i got to stop letting guys play with my heart. Im starting to cry and my face is red and my eyes are swelled from crying. Now im really pathetic. i cant believe i loved him that much! he was my life and now since our relationship is over my life is over. i cant believe this is real but i guess it is.