M.O.E. "Before the Misery"
Enough is Enough
Enough is Enough
Smack!!
The loud sound of flesh upon flesh rang around the room until all was silent. A blood stained knife hung, implanted in the wooden walls of the hospital room, dripping and staining the wall with red.
"Enough kid...!! That's...enough..."
Raphael's grey eyes gazed intensely upon the shaking Elf. He let his hand fall from it's former position, the opposite side of Soya's face, to the side of the bed. Red from the strike, Soya's cheek twitched slightly and his eyes stared off into nothingness. Crimson blood oozed from the multitude of fresh slits all along both of Soya's forearms staining the white bed sheet dark red.
Raphael continued to stare into Soya's downcast eyes. Blood dripped once again from the knife and pattered on the floor.
"What are you doing...!? What is the meaning of this...!?" he shouted. Soya gave no answer. He only sat in his hospital bed...staring at the floor in silence as blood continued to flow from his self inflicted wounds. Shaking his head frantically, Raphael held onto one of Soya's shoulders and called for assistance. Nurse Mellanie rushed up the stairs...words were passed, and in seconds she fled back down to get bandages and extra assistance. Soya's glazed eyes panned slowly to the blood stained knife, now so far away from his grasp. He watched his own blood drip from it's sharp edge to the wooden floor. Why...Why did Raphael stop him...? Why is the knife so far now...? Why does it still hurt...?
With a sturdy grasp, Raphael continued to hold and look at Soya with wide eyes. "Are you going to give up so easily!? Are you going to let them win!? Is this what-"
"Why won't you just LET ME DIE!?" Soya screamed closing his eyes and grasping with what little strength he had to the blood stained bed sheet, "I'm done with this world! I'm done with this life!! I'm done living through this nightmare!!" His eyes were now staring hatefully into Raphael's. He pushed himself up and to the edge of the bed, "I'm done with this-"
"Don't you dare!" Raphael shouted and shoved Soya firmly to the backboard of the bed, "Don't you dare get that knife again...I swear I will-"
"You'll what...hit me again...!? Fine, do it! Hit me again...Hit me like everyone else does!" Soya snapped, "...Go on...Do it...Hit me!"
Raphael knelt in silence on the bed, still holding Soya down and glaring through sorrowful eyes. The door was opened and three sets of footsteps rushed into the room. One of the nurses nearly screamed at the sight of Soya's disfigured forearms and wrists, the doctor quickly began wrapping bandages around the arms to stop the flow of blood. Soya struggled to escape Raphael's grip, yet lost all strength as Mellanie cast a small holding spell upon him.
It was too much to bear. His wounds ached, his chest throbbed, and his legs stung as he felt himself pinned to the back of the bed with incredible force. Warm blood spurt from his mouth as he coughed and moaned from the pain welling up inside of him. Taking a cloth, Raphael gently wiped the sides of Soya's bleeding mouth with his free hand. "You'll be okay kid..."
"I don't want to be okay...I don't want to be here..." Soya thought as his eyes glared at Raphael. He grunted, trying to free his hand from the doctors grip on his arm. "He's too tense...Cynthia! Give him something to calm down, his blood is leaving faster!" the doctor shouted as he struggled to get Soya's bandage on properly. The nurse quickly did as she was told, and placed her hands above Soya's nose and mouth. With a few words, she cast a small sleeping spell...but couldn't make it strong enough to completely put Soya to sleep. Soya's arm fell limp and his head fell to his shoulder. Raphael placed his hand behind Soya's neck and held his head for support. "You'll be okay..."
An hour had passed and Soya's entire forearms were bandaged with blood stained cloth. "We've cleared the room of all sharp objects..." the doctor said to Raphael sadly, "If you find any more, please take them out of the room. Another nurse will be in shortly to change the sheets and clean this mess up..." He glanced at Soya who sat sleepily and miserably against the backboard of the bed. With a sigh, he shook his head and pat Raphael on the shoulder, "Maybe you'll be able to cheer him up...or at least help him get some rest." Raphael nodded and watched the doctor and nurses leave for the time being. The room was silent. Not even a breeze blew from the window outside. In the silence, Raphael stared at Soya's bandaged arms and the untouched medicine by the nightstand. He strode over and sat in a chair beside the bed, watching Soya. But Soya stared at the floor and didn't turn his head. He knew Raphael was staring, he knew he was sitting there beside his prison of a hospital bed, he knew Raphael wanted him to look at him. So, he kept his head cast toward the floor and let his eyes stare at his blood that had dripped from the once present knife on the floor.
"You going to take your medicine kid...?" Raphael asked as he continued to stare. Soya remained silent. "I see," Raphael said standing to his feet and turning himself around. He sat himself, instead, on the side of the bed and continued to watch Soya with an unblinking grey stare. "Go away," Soya mumbled quietly closing his eyes. He could feel the piercing gaze Raphael was sending him. Raphael then placed a hand across Soya's clenched fist. "Don't touch me..." whispered Soya angrily, "Don't...touch me..." Raphael sighed through his nose and reached to grab Soya's downcast face. "Don't touch me..." Soya continued to repeat as he felt Raphael's hand cup his chin and begin pulling his face to face his own. "Don't...stop...Don't touch me...!" Soya's whispers became louder as Raphael tried to turn his head to face his own.
"Please...!" Soya shouted as he opened his eyes. Raphael was staring at him calmly. Soya stared back...afraid and angry. Raphael's hand upon Soya's chin released it's hold and gently slid it's way upward and rested upon Soya's pale cheek. "Please...Please don't..." Soya whimpered while his whole body shook. He looked into Raphael's eyes in absolute fear, "Please...please...no..."
"I'm not going to hurt you...I won't do anything to you...I wouldn't dream of it," Raphael explained as he watched Soya shake and plead. It was upsetting. Oh how Raphael pitied him as he watched the poor soul's ears drop nearly to his shoulders in fear. "You should sleep..." Raphael said as he lifted Soya up and slid him down into the covers and propped his head upon a soft, yet blood stained pillow. Soya gave a small cry as Raphael tried to lay him on his back. "I told you, I'm not going to hurt you...okay? Don't worry, you'll be alright...I won't hurt you," Raphael coaxed placing the covers over Soya's shoulders. Soya continued to watch Raphael with distrusting and fearful eyes. Raphael removed his hands from Soya to further convince him that he truly wasn't trying to hurt him. He then spotted a small stitching needle lying upon the floor. "It seems trivial...but I guess I'll have to take it out of the room..." he thought to himself lifting the needle and placing it in his hand. "I'll be right back," he said standing to his feet, "Oh...and-" he lifted a small and soft pillow from the side of the room and placed it next to Soya in the bed. "Here...Sometimes when you hold things...it helps you feel a little better," he said as he turned to exit the room. "You don't have to hold it if you don't want...I'll be back okay?" Raphael didn't wait for an answer; he knew he wouldn't get one. He then left the room to dispose of the needle and closed the door tightly behind him.
Mellanie stood before Raphael outside of the staircase leading to Soya's hospital room, looking at him with a sad face. "I...can't believe he would try to do something...something like this..." she said letting her head lower in sadness, "What would posses him to even think of such a thing?" Raphael only shook his head and sighed. They were both quiet for a long time. Finally, Raphael handed the small stitching needle to Mellanie carefully. She placed it in a small case in her pocket and looked at her brother nodding in thanks.
"There are plenty of reasons Soya wants to kill himself..." Raphael responded solemnly, "I think his step mother's visit was the last straw..."
Mellanie looked upward confused by Raphael's words. "His step mother...?" she questioned, "Why would that make Soya so upset? Did she say some horrible things to him or something? I wasn't working yesterday so I didn't know."
Raphael's grey eyes looked to the ground despondently. His face went slightly pale as he remembered the awful thing she did to Soya in the hospital room. "Let's just say..." Raphael sighed, "I had her placed under arrest yesterday...She's charged for-" He stopped himself. Soya wouldn't want anyone to know...and he didn't want to start spreading rumors. He shook his head and looked to the side, "She's done something terrible...something that can not go without punishment." He clenched his fist at the remembrance of the woman's maniacal face as she was handcuffed and taken away to the prison. "It's a terrible thing to say...but people like her should have never come into existence," he mumbled and looked back towards the stairs. Mellanie looked to the ground in distress and put her hand across her chest. Her heart wrenched, but she was unsure why. Was it what Raphael said? Was she just feeling upset that she was unable to help? Or maybe...it was the simple ability siblings have to know what the other one feels.
"I'm going to go back to Soya to make sure he's alright," Raphael finally said as he pushed his long bang behind his ear. The two large silver strips across the tops of his ears glinted in the small stream of sunlight shining into the room. Nodding, Mellanie turned around and slowly made her way to her next patients room, all the while her head was cast downwards toward the floor. Raphael made his way back up the long flight of stairs. He stopped in front of Soya's door and placed his hand upon the copper colored knob reciting things in his head that he could possibly say to help Soya take his medicine and sleep. With another sigh he shrugged, swung the door open, and strode inside.
The room had grown dimmer since the last time he left it. The sun had moved itself to the opposite side of the building and dusk was drawing near. Raphael lifted his head from the ground and looked to see if Soya had inflicted damage to himself again. His eyes widened slightly in surprise at what he beheld. Soya was laying on his side, curled in his blood stained sheets, with his bandaged arms wrapped tightly around the small pillow. His deep green hair was sprawled across his frail face and shoulders as he shook from what seemed to be the cold. With deep yet staggered breaths he squeezed the pillow closer to his chest and face, fingering the sewn tips with his shaking hands. With soft eyes, Raphael gazed at Soya and strode to his side, pulling the sheet over his shoulder. Soya twitched from warmth of Raphael's hand upon his bony shoulder. Raphael gently pushed Soya's bangs out of his face and looked at him with concern. A minute or two passed by until Soya lifted his head slightly and looked at Raphael from over the small pillow with a miserable stare.
"I want you to know that...you're a very strong kid to make it this far," Raphael whispered softly, "I also want you to know...that even the strongest of men get upset from time to time." Raphael calmly kept his light hold on Soya's shoulder and leaned down a few centimeters closer to his face behind the pillow. "Don't be ashamed to cry..."
Those words ran through Soya's head as his ears drooped and his eyes peered widely over the top of the pillow case at Raphael. Not be ashamed...? How could he...? He had shed too many tears before. He wouldn't, no, couldn't cry this time. This time he would be strong. He would stay strong...Just like...just...like...
His heart sank, his hands tingled, and his grip tightened upon the soft pillow. Shaking, he tore his gaze from Raphael and lowered his head down. A multitude of tears soon streamed from the sides of Soya's sore eyes and rolled down his cheeks, pattering against the mattress like raindrops on a cloudy day. With a tender smile, Raphael wiped the tears from Soya's sickly face and calmly brushed his hand across Soya's bangs. Painful sobs and sniffles emitted from the broken and emaciated elf as the sun slowly disappeared behind the distant hills beyond the city walls. Raphael bent down and calmly wrapped Soya in a comforting embrace.
"This is only the beginning...You have so much more to see and experience...It would be a waste to take yourself out of the picture now," Raphael said in a soothing voice. Soya let his tears drain into Raphael's shirt as he leaned his head upon Raphael's shoulder and closed his eyes tightly. Blinded by tears, he reached and tried to wrap his arms around Raphael's back with the remainder of his strength. "Things will get better for you...I know they will," Raphael added, "You'll just have to hang in there and be strong...okay?"
"Be...strong...?" Soya's tears continued to trickle down his face and pool in the bloody sheets, smearing the red stains into a faint pink.
"Be strong..." Raphael repeated quietly as he gently rocked Soya side to side. The way he moved almost seemed to feel as if Soya had been floating in the peaceful waters of a large river. Tranquil...warm...safe. Tilting Soya's head back, Raphael slid the small medicine pill into Soya's mouth. "Here...swallow," he instructed as he held a small glass of water up to Soya's parched lips. Soya did as he was told, and Raphael poured a small stream of water into Soya's mouth to help him swallow the pill. Once the pill was swallowed, Raphael placed Soya's head carefully on the pillow and returned to his seat next to the bed. Soya watched him with small puddles in his eyes and tried to breathe through his nose. It was impossible. He had been crying so much that his nose was completely stuffed up. He took unsteady breathes through his mouth and felt some of the extra puddles in his eyes leak and roll down the side of his face and into his hair.
"Do you want me to go...?" Raphael asked, "I can leave if you want to be alone for a while..."
Soya panted softly...and shook his head. "I've...always been alone...please..." he whispered closing his tired eyes and resting his tense body against the mattress, "...please stay..."
Raphael nodded, leaning his elbows on the bed and placing a hand on Soya's. Soya's hand twitched, but could no longer move due to Soya's exhaustion. Raphael's hand was so warm compared to his...so much...stronger than his. "I promise I will make it up to you somehow," Soya thought as his mind drifted in and out of consciousness. Unable to speak, Soya's lips moved to the shape the words "Thank you".
And with that, he drifted to sleep...
Finally protected...and finally calm.
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BE STRONG reminds me of Yumikaido. I remembered Yumikaido coming in. "You want power? I'll give you power." Is what I thought of, and then Soya got super strength! Dum dum dum! Awwww SOOOooooo SAD!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*dies*