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"... And so the b*+ch tells me, 'come on, you ugly lil' sonova, it's a GIANT ROBOT. So what if we take out your soul in the process?'
"An' I told her, 'screw u
" 'It's my bloody SOUL! I need it to get to midget heaven someday and run through a dozen midgets with a chainsaw as my eternal reward! I can't trade it for a GIANT NOTHING! '
"Then the b*+ch, man, she goes all silent, she looks at me, she asks, '...well, not even for the GIANT SCHLONG? ...comes with the robot...'
"...man...a GIANT SCHLONG...you can't buy that in a store no more...GIANT SCHLONG, b*+ch! NO ONE says no to a GIANT SCHLONG...!
"So I say to the b*+ch, 'Alright. I'll do it. I'll give you my soul, my ticket to midget heaven to run through a dozen midgets with a chainsaw as my eternal reward, and I get the GIANT SCHLONG...and the GIANT ROBOT.'
"But then the b*+ch has to go and SAY it, man! She looks at me, she says, 'No, kid, the GIANT SCHLONG is EXTRA...you want the GIANT ROBOT AND the GIANT SCHLONG, you gotta give me your own schlong for it, too.'
"...what? ... You really think I went through with THAT?? My golden schlong for a giant one that I won't even USE?? Man, that's stupid. That's Drunk-Daddy-with-an-ugly-cow-on-prom-night-with-no-condom stupid.
"So I told the b*+ch, 'Tell you what...I get you someone else's schlong for the giant one?' B*+ch looks at me, says, '...okay. As long as I get a schlong...'
"So that's when I went up to the neighbor's kid, shot him with elephant tranquilizer, and TOOK HIS SCHLONG!!
"...so anyway, I couldn't let the kid think I took it...what if he wants the GIANT ROBOT and the GIANT SCHLONG as compensation??
"So the next day, when he woke up, I told him, 'Kid...the Tri-Wrench has stolen your Shino.'
"He bought it.
"So now I got the GIANT ROBOT, the GIANT SCHLONG, and a zombie tech to take the cred! My life ROCKED, yo!
"But then this guy comes up to me, says, 'Son, you gimme the GIANT ROBOT, you keep the GIANT SCHLONG, I give you a lifetime supply of the finest CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES money can buy!!'
"...chocolate sprinkles...man..."
THE END
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Flypipe Rogancryd
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User Comments: [1] [add]
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Very relevant.
Whoops. Pisshead strikes back. ninja