I
From the first day I met you, I knew we were meant to be together.
I had no friends. No common ground with my peers. I was considered different.
The strange one.
They wouldn’t look my way.
But you…you were different
You had the attention I was deprived of.
But you wanted none of it. You wanted to be a loner.
You wanted to be an outcast.
Perhaps that’s what drew us together.
The day we met. I remember it so well
It was the first time anyone would took notice of me.
You were my senior by 4 years.
But neither of us cared.
That day, you gave me the gift of friendship.
II
Years came and passed.
3 years to be exacted.
Our friendship bloomed and blossomed.
Despite our home separation, the bond we shared only grew stronger
Whether we were apart or not.
But then you had to go.
Why you were leaving me
You never said.
You only told me that you would return one day
That you would come back for me.
With a kiss farewell, you left me alone
No words of goodbye would escape my lips.
I think I cried that night. I remember being cold without the warmth that was you.
Then I realized from that moment when your gift of love was found and
I came in terms with it:
I was in love with you.
III
6 years had gone since your goodbye.
I wondered if you would return to me
To keep the promise you made.
Others say I had false hope. That who would come for me.
To them, I was still no one.
And to think I almost gave up hope.
But you came back to me as you said you would.
And not a moment too late.
You held me in your arms.
I never wanted to let go. To ever see you leave again.
You whispered to me that you had missed me. I felt my heart burst.
It took me every ounce of restraint not to kiss you or spilled out my feelings for you out.
I stuck with just saying I missed you too.
For the first time in my life
I knew what it felt like to be missed.
IV
They say that people change over time. That it is only natural for it to occur.
I always believed that was just for some not all
I never expected it to apply to us.
But little did we know that we would have our own dirty little secrets.
You hid your past.
I covered the present.
We hid from all and even each other the thing that made us weak.
Well, at least I hid the thing that made me weak.
No one knew what I was going through.
Not that they would care or understand anyway.
To hide something from my loved ones
From you
It was the hardest thing to.
But I had to.
I had to protect you. To protect them.
But who would protect me?
Who would be there for me when I cried myself to sleep every night?
Who would see the signs of pain?
Who would ask me what was wrong?
Who would care enough about me?
Would they even care if I died?
V
I tried to end it all.
To be free from the torture I could no longer withstand.
Sanity is here no more.
Mercy and Love are long gone.
Hope has abandoned me.
To protect the ones I love
I must to do this.
I have to.
Then none of us will suffer.
That was what I believed.
Those are the only thoughts that give me comfort.
That everyone would be better off without me.
I never expected anyone to care for me.
For them to come look for me.
I never expected someone to try to stop me. That someone wanted me to live.
I never expected it to be you.
Then you arrived
Never a moment late.
I thought it was just an illusion
My mind playing it old cruel tricks.
But illusions don’t love
They don’t have warmth.
And that’s what scared me. That someone did care for me.
That someone did love me.
I tried to struggle against you.
Against the reality I would not face.
You only held to me tighter.
You won’t let go.
My life depended on it
To ensure me this was real. That this wasn’t an illusion.
You told me.
You told me the secret that I had hid. You discovered it.
You realize I have stopped struggling.
You embrace me to comfort me.
You let me cry in your arms. The thing you saw as a weakness
You told me it was strength.
You made me feel human again.
VI
I recovered. Though your help of course.
You promised to protect me.
And you did. You made all the darkness disappear.
I felt safe for the first time in years.
I finally knew I could tell you everything.
The pain I hid. The lies I told.
The person who did this to me.
I could tell you all.
I thought you would call me weak.
To let someone control and hurt me as they did.
But you didn’t.
Still you only told me you would protect me.
That I would never be hurt again
I trusted you as I always did. How could I ever doubt you?
VII
It’s over. He’s gone.
I’ll never be hurt again.
We’ll be together.
That’s what I thought would happen. That you would stay with me.
That you would protect me and I would protect you.
But that won’t happen.
You had to leave again. Your deadly secret leaked out.
You had to leave me again.
But this time
You can’t come back.
You won’t return to me.
I wanted to leave with you. To be with you.
You knew that.
You knew that my heart yearned for you
But you also knew that I belonged here
That I belonged home.
You kissed me goodbye as you do before.
No promise could be made that would hold back my tears.
Still no goodbye from my lips would comprehend how much I would miss you.
How you meant to you.
As I watch you leave me. Perhaps never to see you again
Memories run through my mind.
Our beginning.
Our happiness. Our suffering
Our end.
I can remember what I was thinking the night you saved me:
I don’t know how he did it…
But he saw right through me.
He knew from the start…
The pain I would hide.
And now to think…
He would be the one to set me free.
I realize now
Of all the things you have given me.
You gave the greatest gift right before you left:
You gave me back my life.
From the first day I met you, I knew we were meant to be together.
I had no friends. No common ground with my peers. I was considered different.
The strange one.
They wouldn’t look my way.
But you…you were different
You had the attention I was deprived of.
But you wanted none of it. You wanted to be a loner.
You wanted to be an outcast.
Perhaps that’s what drew us together.
The day we met. I remember it so well
It was the first time anyone would took notice of me.
You were my senior by 4 years.
But neither of us cared.
That day, you gave me the gift of friendship.
II
Years came and passed.
3 years to be exacted.
Our friendship bloomed and blossomed.
Despite our home separation, the bond we shared only grew stronger
Whether we were apart or not.
But then you had to go.
Why you were leaving me
You never said.
You only told me that you would return one day
That you would come back for me.
With a kiss farewell, you left me alone
No words of goodbye would escape my lips.
I think I cried that night. I remember being cold without the warmth that was you.
Then I realized from that moment when your gift of love was found and
I came in terms with it:
I was in love with you.
III
6 years had gone since your goodbye.
I wondered if you would return to me
To keep the promise you made.
Others say I had false hope. That who would come for me.
To them, I was still no one.
And to think I almost gave up hope.
But you came back to me as you said you would.
And not a moment too late.
You held me in your arms.
I never wanted to let go. To ever see you leave again.
You whispered to me that you had missed me. I felt my heart burst.
It took me every ounce of restraint not to kiss you or spilled out my feelings for you out.
I stuck with just saying I missed you too.
For the first time in my life
I knew what it felt like to be missed.
IV
They say that people change over time. That it is only natural for it to occur.
I always believed that was just for some not all
I never expected it to apply to us.
But little did we know that we would have our own dirty little secrets.
You hid your past.
I covered the present.
We hid from all and even each other the thing that made us weak.
Well, at least I hid the thing that made me weak.
No one knew what I was going through.
Not that they would care or understand anyway.
To hide something from my loved ones
From you
It was the hardest thing to.
But I had to.
I had to protect you. To protect them.
But who would protect me?
Who would be there for me when I cried myself to sleep every night?
Who would see the signs of pain?
Who would ask me what was wrong?
Who would care enough about me?
Would they even care if I died?
V
I tried to end it all.
To be free from the torture I could no longer withstand.
Sanity is here no more.
Mercy and Love are long gone.
Hope has abandoned me.
To protect the ones I love
I must to do this.
I have to.
Then none of us will suffer.
That was what I believed.
Those are the only thoughts that give me comfort.
That everyone would be better off without me.
I never expected anyone to care for me.
For them to come look for me.
I never expected someone to try to stop me. That someone wanted me to live.
I never expected it to be you.
Then you arrived
Never a moment late.
I thought it was just an illusion
My mind playing it old cruel tricks.
But illusions don’t love
They don’t have warmth.
And that’s what scared me. That someone did care for me.
That someone did love me.
I tried to struggle against you.
Against the reality I would not face.
You only held to me tighter.
You won’t let go.
My life depended on it
To ensure me this was real. That this wasn’t an illusion.
You told me.
You told me the secret that I had hid. You discovered it.
You realize I have stopped struggling.
You embrace me to comfort me.
You let me cry in your arms. The thing you saw as a weakness
You told me it was strength.
You made me feel human again.
VI
I recovered. Though your help of course.
You promised to protect me.
And you did. You made all the darkness disappear.
I felt safe for the first time in years.
I finally knew I could tell you everything.
The pain I hid. The lies I told.
The person who did this to me.
I could tell you all.
I thought you would call me weak.
To let someone control and hurt me as they did.
But you didn’t.
Still you only told me you would protect me.
That I would never be hurt again
I trusted you as I always did. How could I ever doubt you?
VII
It’s over. He’s gone.
I’ll never be hurt again.
We’ll be together.
That’s what I thought would happen. That you would stay with me.
That you would protect me and I would protect you.
But that won’t happen.
You had to leave again. Your deadly secret leaked out.
You had to leave me again.
But this time
You can’t come back.
You won’t return to me.
I wanted to leave with you. To be with you.
You knew that.
You knew that my heart yearned for you
But you also knew that I belonged here
That I belonged home.
You kissed me goodbye as you do before.
No promise could be made that would hold back my tears.
Still no goodbye from my lips would comprehend how much I would miss you.
How you meant to you.
As I watch you leave me. Perhaps never to see you again
Memories run through my mind.
Our beginning.
Our happiness. Our suffering
Our end.
I can remember what I was thinking the night you saved me:
I don’t know how he did it…
But he saw right through me.
He knew from the start…
The pain I would hide.
And now to think…
He would be the one to set me free.
I realize now
Of all the things you have given me.
You gave the greatest gift right before you left:
You gave me back my life.
