Yep here it is, my finally new tektek that I will start/finish once I finish collecting all the kimonos (own royal and fire, must get the rest still). It's not really great but then again, my mind is really seriously burnt out and I don't think I can think straight enough to do much else.
**WARNING** This next section gets pretty depressing and self-ranting, read on at your own risk, now I'm going to go get a box of tissues and cry myself to sleep.
My bunny died while I was holidays. Apparently it was poisoned somehow and was bleeding from the eyes. The vet said the only possible reasons are that 1. Someone feed it after touching raw meat without washing their hands or 2. Cross contamination from other animals. My mother suspected I might have been the cause but I don't think I was. I may work at ONL, going by what the health inspector said, ONL is cleaner than the hospital is and that must mean something plus, right before I leave ONL I throughly was my hands and arms for sanitary reasons plus I take a shower after I get home as well. Also not to forget that I've been working at ONL for a year now and he never had any problems before now. If anything, I would say the fault either lies in my grandmother (the queen of cross-contamination -_-) or my sister and cousin (they were the last ones to feed the bunny before we left). He was perfectly fine that morning and happily hopping so it'd had to have been something during the time when I left, to when my sister found my bunny dying that he got poisoned. I didn't feed him that day nor get him water. There is a possibility that the water might have gotten contaminated as no one besides myself actually cleans his water bowl properly.
The vet still said he lived a long life though. Apparently the breed my bunny was usually only live to a grand total of 5 years and he was bordering on 7 to 8 before he died. Still, I would've preferred him dying in peaceful old age instead of poisoning...I'm still really depressed about it too. Whenever I see his cage in the hallway I always walk up to it to say hi to my bunny....but there isn't a bunny there anymore and every time that happens, I start crying. It really sucks. Especially since I had been planning to get him a play friend (another bunny) this summertime once I get more hours at my jobs as well as I found his claw clippers the day before I was going on my trip so I was gonna clip his claws this weekend...today to be exact...but now he's gone.
What really disturbs me is that when I was told he died (he wasn't actually dead yet, he was still trying to survive) I couldn't cry, I felt numb and kind of couldn't believe it. It wasn't until a few days later that I suddenly burst out crying about my bunny which was creepily, the same day the he actually did pass. It was like we had some kind of connection as unlike everyone else, he didn't mind me being around him so much and even knew that when I pointed at his cage, he had to go into his cage (he usually just hops away from everyone because he's terrified of everything). He would even eat out of my hand and let me pet him without shrinking back into a corner of his cage like everyone else. I really loved him so it's really creepy for me to feel like that connection doesn't exist anymore, that I won't be able to walk by his cage anymore and say hi while he's lying down and him just flick his ears at me (to everyone else, he jumps up and goes to a corner).
Sometimes I feel like he may have been trying to hide him being sick from me because my sister would always say he was doing something strange but whenever I saw him, he just did his own thing. Once he hurt his tooth and couldn't really eat but whenever I was there, I would see him trying to eat in front of me and kind of fail. My sister went and bought some mineral for his water to help his teeth and I started feeding him a different type of rabbit food that was in smaller pellets and he completely pigged out on them once I got them in his cage. A few weeks later he was back to eating his regular food again with no problem. That stupid bunny though.....why couldn't he had just given me a sign earlier, I would've taken him to a vet myself before it got so bad. I wouldn't have gone on my vacation and stayed by him instead of find out about his near death while being 8 hours and getting further away from him. I feel like I've let him down somehow and at the same time I feel really mad at my bunny for tricking me into thinking he was fine and that I'd be back to play and talk to him after my vacation like always. You stupid bunny...I loved you so much....You were always there for me, even though I suppose you never really did have a choice since you were in your cage most of the time....now I feel more alone than I ever had before. It really hurts, I want you back so bad...I'm so selfish aren't I?I must be the worst person in the world right now...I hate myself.
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