For days... even weeks and months, something has been bothering me. Eating at me, like a maggot eating away at a dead corpse. I want something that I can't have, and I know that the last thing I need is the result of what would happen if I attempted this.
I know personally what one of the many things are now that were bothering me, I can't even begin to explain how frustrating it was to figure it out and have had it right in front of my face this whole time.
I wrote a comment to one person in their journal where there was a love poem. It reminded me of my situation, that reply I wrote. In a metaphorical kind of way that is. I care alot for all of my friends, especially my best friends. You have to earn that kind of thing from me, it isn't just 'there'.
You see, humanity is blind and human kind is cruel. We suffer needlessly every day and then drag everyone possible down with us. 99.9 percent of humanity itself is a disease, killing us all slowly as time passes us by and old age takes over our bodies.
I want what most people want, yes. I want what I cannot have, I want alot of things but this one is what I want the most and I can say that honestly.
Not like it really matters to most people what I actually want, and no, that isn't the point of all of this.
What I want is something special and personal to me, I'm not telling what it actually is. I'll hint and whoever knows what it is, don't go off telling anyone or I'll block you and delete you most likely. What I want is what it is and isn't changing anytime soon, it's true, and supposedly the feeling lasts forever. Well, since I can't have it, this jealousy of everything and everyone else hurts like hell. I don't want that to last forever.
I want to be safe, I want to be one, I want nothing to be wrong. Keep me awake, keep me alive but really, I'm dying inside.
I want something, I really do, and after the past while, it feels wrong... But it feels even more right. I don't know what to do, I do know what I want.
A hint is to look on my other profile at my 'about me ' section. Think about it. Understand it. Then, you might have a hint as to what I want.
-Bear
I know personally what one of the many things are now that were bothering me, I can't even begin to explain how frustrating it was to figure it out and have had it right in front of my face this whole time.
I wrote a comment to one person in their journal where there was a love poem. It reminded me of my situation, that reply I wrote. In a metaphorical kind of way that is. I care alot for all of my friends, especially my best friends. You have to earn that kind of thing from me, it isn't just 'there'.
You see, humanity is blind and human kind is cruel. We suffer needlessly every day and then drag everyone possible down with us. 99.9 percent of humanity itself is a disease, killing us all slowly as time passes us by and old age takes over our bodies.
I want what most people want, yes. I want what I cannot have, I want alot of things but this one is what I want the most and I can say that honestly.
Not like it really matters to most people what I actually want, and no, that isn't the point of all of this.
What I want is something special and personal to me, I'm not telling what it actually is. I'll hint and whoever knows what it is, don't go off telling anyone or I'll block you and delete you most likely. What I want is what it is and isn't changing anytime soon, it's true, and supposedly the feeling lasts forever. Well, since I can't have it, this jealousy of everything and everyone else hurts like hell. I don't want that to last forever.
I want to be safe, I want to be one, I want nothing to be wrong. Keep me awake, keep me alive but really, I'm dying inside.
I want something, I really do, and after the past while, it feels wrong... But it feels even more right. I don't know what to do, I do know what I want.
A hint is to look on my other profile at my 'about me ' section. Think about it. Understand it. Then, you might have a hint as to what I want.
-Bear
![[~Miyavi~]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/2c/48/6076ccea4d482c.png?t=1684344859_6.00_11 "[~Miyavi~]")
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