Through the anger and pain. Hurt and recollection of memories I'm reminded of a past I had tried to forget. Why had she made me remember these painful memories.
Somethings I cannot remember but they are still with me. This pain... horror. Fire burns with things more than passion, it continues to burn to try to be free. It burns because it's reaching. I am this fire. Burning to reach something out of my way. Continuing to take things down not realizing I'm hurting others on my way.
I've hurt many by just being with these people. I want to love is that so bad? I give everything and it's quickly taken away. I leave to start a new life and it comes with me. Will I ever escape these nightmares?
I want Futil. I want him in my arms to hold and comfort. I want to kiss away all of his fears, forgetting about mine. I want to spoil him, love him and bleed away for him.
Somehow this is asking too much. I become the selfish one by wanting this.
I can't sleep for fear of what she might say, has said or is saying. I don't want to know her, talk to her, be around her. It's such a shame. A shame that she still wants to be around me.
She's causing so much pain and it's all my fault because I know her. I brought her into this by ignoring her. Giving her no other choice then to contact me here.
She's taken away everything. My hope, my dreams, my desire, mai ai... if she ends up pushing him away from me I will never forgive her. I might actually drive down there without a license and slap her across the face.
After all I've been through. After everything I've worked so hard to get away from. DO I honestly deserve to lose more?
Why the ******** can't I love whom I please? Why is love not free? Why is it not boundless, endless, chainless... FREE?
I cannot sleep tonight. I can't even close my eyes... thinking my one desire in this sick sad and depressing world is sad. She's making him unhappy.
LEAVE me alone or I'll get my adopted mother to drive me down there and we'll BOTH beat your a**, call the cops on me I don't give a s**t anymore.
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A flame that burns eternity; a heart made of ice; life melting glass
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