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tina, maybe you should just.. move on. As hard as it sounds, just... stop checking up on him. He's a big boy. he can be his own conscience... And i don't think he'll listen to you anyways. I understand he hurt you... but if you love him so much, you'll learn to let him go...

Remeber you're my friened and I'm only saying this because I want you to come out of this depression. for good.

Thats just it, I can't do it. I'm too far down to even start pulling myself out.

I've been dishonest about my feelings for too long, and all I want is to be happy, with him. I don't see my life with anyone else, and even with all my horrible mistakes I still see it as being true. I love him, I don't know why I do, its just a feeling inside me that tells me its right. Everyone tells me that Raymond was bad for me, that he will only cause me pain. But he is also the one that saved my life time and time again, and loved me to no end. I loved knowing that he was there for me, and now he doesn't even care. All he cares about is that two-bit piece of trash b***h. I can't stand the fact that he is with her. I wouldn't care as much if he was with someone else. But her of all people. It had to be HER. It makes me sick to the point that I throw up.

I want only a few things in life to make me feel better. But they're all selfish, and if I had the power to do them, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Tina, ******** off then. I try to help you but you dont care. I try to talk to you but you dont care. Stop hiding it then crying later and just ******** tell me your feelings instead of. "Oh I dont want to talk to you", but really you do. I call to talk to you, not jen or anyone else so dont let them take the phone from you. Do you really care or do you just want me to be stuck too, at least untill you can move on?

Also if you didn't notice the emails where you refer to Pam as anything less then human I DO NOT reply. DO NOT try to belittle her online because that will just make me put even more efforts, with no boundaries to prove how she's not. I love her, get over it.

I can't see how you can love someone that put me through hell. That only proves to me that you're less of a human being.