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Chuck Norris counted to infinity..........twice.
Chuck Norris does not sleep, he wakes.
Oxygen needs more Chuck Norris to live.
Chuck Norris does not fall down stairs, stairs fall up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris burns the suns eyes.
Super Man wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris knows were Waldo is, all ways.
Chuck Norris isn't afraid of death, death is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
There is no Theory of Evolotion, just a list of species Chuck Norris keeps alive.
There has never been a nuclear bombing, it was just Chuck Norris after 3 Bean Burritos.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer... Too bad he's never cried..... ever.
If Chuck Norris has sex with a man it's not because he's gay, it's simply because he's run out of women.
they tried to put chuck norris in mount rushmore, but the granite wasnt hard enough for his beard.
chuck norris sued abc, saying that "law and order" were the names of his left and right legs
chuck norris was the fourth wiseman. he brought baby jesus the gift of beard. the other wisemen were so jealus of chuck that they used their combined power to get chuck taken out of the bible.
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris-ed.
If Flash and Superman were in a race... Who would win?
Chuck Norris.