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MY OWN SECRETS....
Nightmare land. Chapter 1…. Wake up.
The rain was pouring hard against the window at the Berkley house making little sounds that sounded more of like pebbles being thrown. It was a cold April morning only about 4 a.m. Tomas Berkley wok up in his bed covered in sweat with his blond hair matted to his forehead and his ocean blue eyes wide with fright. He had just awaken form another nightmare. Running a hand threw his hair he recalled what he can about what happened. He was 5 years old again and he was huddled under his covers alone in his room as the Mickey Mouse light that was plugged into the wall next to his bed flickered off and on threatening to die out at any moment. Tears ran down his rosy cheeks as he buried his face into his favorite teddy bear wa-wa. He dared not peek out from under the covers because it was there. In the closet staring at him. The door stood wide open revealing a baseball bat lying sprawled on the floor along with a few marbles and a discarded raincoat. Neatly hanging on the cloths rack were his cloths for the day ahead and for the next after that along with a small baseball uniform. Feeling the cold eyes on him he buried his face even more into his bear believing that if he can’t see it then it cant see him. Coming back from the memory he looked over at his closet only to see that it was closed just as he had left it before going to sleep. He placed his feet on the cold wooden floor and slowly stood up. Shacking off the memory he walked across his room only glancing once at the closet then stepping out. The hall way was quit with the exception of the rain pouring down hard on the roof and sliding down the windows all seemed quiet and normal. Walking only a few steps down the hall he walked into the bathroom and relieved his bladder from the urine that begged to be let out. After finishing he washed his hands and looked into the mirror only to see his blue eyes staring back at him. he noticed a pimple forming on the right side of his forehead but he would deal with it later. Turning off the light and walking back to his room he noticed from the corner of his eye that his closet door was slightly adjured. His body froze over as an old child hood fear swept over him. But as quick as a bullet shooting from the gun it passed and he brushed it aside. Quietly he walked over to close the door. As soon as his hand touched the frame he stopped. The old child hood fear swept threw his body returning like a brain freeze after too much ice cream. He felt those eyes watching him again. Sweat began to form on the side of his face as he stared inside the dark closet. There in-between his sloppily hanging clothes peeked out a face. Long black hair hung over its face pale skin hugged the bones and muscles. Slightly parted lips formed a chasseur cat like grin that showed rows of crooked tanned teeth that had sharp ridges at the end. Tomas stood in terror as his mouth hung open as if he were trying to scream but nothing but choked air came out as his Adams apple slightly bobbed up and down. A pale hand with long outstretched fingers that held nails as black as coal slowly wrapped around his neck with a tight grip. Even though he had already relived himself his bladder spewed out more down his leg and dripped a puddle onto the wooden floor. Tomas Berkley age 14 died exactly at 4:15 a.m. on Saturday April 5th.






User Comments: [3] [add]
ecchi bnuuy
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Apr 29, 2007 @ 02:53am
"Oh. Very intersting Sir Dhampir. I like it. Reminds me of things that go bump in the night, what hides away in dark of the night. It gives me the slight bit of chills. Very good." {She bows}


commentCommented on: Sun Apr 29, 2007 @ 02:25pm
Misspelled quiet, and i think you use a LITTLE too many metaphores.
The teddy bear wa-wa was on the rugrats, last time I checked. If you are going for a predictablley cute name, try something like "Cuddles " Or "stuffy"
Yuo mention his eyes are blue enough times, and by adjured, do you mean adjar? i'm not sure how to spell it myself, but you mean slightly open yesh?

and it's cheshire cat. I would know, I LOVE cheshire. ^^
I think it's spelled Thomas too..

you put "Tried to scream, but nothing but."
Try "He tried to scream, though nothing but choked words..." Ect ect. Have a little more vocab maybe?

xD toilet humour.

Well, all in all, its a good story, I can visualise it pretty well. Normally though, if you are basing this on the fact he pees himself because he died, that would be because his mussles would relax. EVERYTHING comes out. xP

Just thought i would gross you out before Ii steal you comment virginity...

DAMN YOU BLOODROSE! YOU TOOK IT! T.T



Xx Lushrocker xX
Community Member
SayaBloodPlus
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Jun 04, 2007 @ 01:54pm
nice:O twisted


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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