I hope you like it hot and I hope you like it red...
QueenQeeko
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 @ 08:48am
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 @ 08:09am
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 @ 12:29pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 @ 10:20am
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Eugh. I really wish I had happier things to report. Warning - long entry.
I'm still glad all the Exterminatus Now stuff went smoothly - The EN blokes have been great toward me when I was trying to cover for them a little. I don't worship the guys, but it means a lot to me when people I do have admiration for treat me kindly. Cheers, guys. It's helped me a lot.
Other than this though, things around here ain't that wonderful.
I just feel so freakin' ill.
I blame a lot of it on depression and stress. But to do that I have to find something else to blame both the depression and the stress on.
Well, the collapse of the family business was ugly and we salvaged what we could into a new one which we are still trying to get off the ground. I myself wouldn't be so worried about this if I weren't tryingto take care of my father and grandfather. The stress of the success of the new business is quite a lot on my mind.
At the same time I'm still plodding along trying to do as much art as I can. Still drawing the pages for my mangas, trying to get them to the right quality for publishing, size and covers and all. Tha's taking it's toll. Then the request work. Stress there. I'm also trying to get artworks done for prints and possible t-shirts, plushie and t-shirt and wallscroll merchendise for my comic group Slightly Out of Order. Getting long in the tooth there. I've missed a few deadlines with some work and I honestly don't care if I have lost a job with someone recently - nothing against the guy, I just don't have time for it and I have too much on my shoulders.
There is so much art I have and want to do, but I've also been hit with a maptruck of artist blocks. If anyone wants to help dig me out I'd appreciate it. I have art pieces and many sets of work I want to put togther, and I'm enthusiastic but why is it so hard to actually do something about the blank artbook right in front of me?
I've also been very cold this winter. And I do where jackets and sweaters and the lie but underneath only my thin long sleeved shirts in order to hide all the scars and still healing cuts on my left wrist - the fecking things are taking forever to go away... I don't need to run into father at any time and have him question me about it. Sigh.
Did something scary lately too. When I'm stressed, I toss and turn a lot when I sleep. I have hair that is very thick and have about three times as much as any other person on my head. It's also exceptionally long - right to the small of my back. Day after day when I try to come it or brush it, it gets harder. I don't fix any of the knots but wow does my hairbrush fill with hair. Now, the scary thing. I had to introduce scissors into the excercise. I didn't cut much, but I had to so lots of small snips... okay, I started with small snips and then I was cutting out chunks of hair... some of the knots were, well, very veyr big, and knotted and mattered so thickly they were as solid as a Snickers bar. And now, I have an alarmingly large pile of hair on my desk. Because aside from what I cut out and then brushed out, my hair is falling out too. Now, this is today's pile. I also did this trick exactly one week ago. And when viewing my hair as I walk around, since I don't tie my hair up, it's amazing how unnoticeable it is and how much hair I can lose and still have so much left over. That's the scary thing. What's scarier.. is if this keeps happening...
Oh yeah. I fainted again too, this arvo. Was out for quite a few hours. I need help. And I ain't swallowing no pills that'll mess with my head.
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 @ 09:58am
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Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 @ 12:24pm
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Bad and worse
This will probably be my first actual entry that is serious, drawn out and miserable.
But this thing isn't just for minor updates. It's for venting, too.
I know I could have had a worse day. Much worse than today already was. But I've had little to be overly happy about. The things I enjoy and the people I love are hard to appreciate when everything else comes down on my head like a sack of bricks. A sack the size of the moon, I might add.
*sigh*
It started out with trivial pain and unhappiness.
First, I failed my driving test.
I was going 50km/h in what was usually a 60km/h zone but had been changed to 40km/h overnight with an unclear road construction sign.
Hey, my tester liked me. A lot. He said I was so close but unfortunately he couldn't ignore that error. What annoyed me is he was very quiet with me and my brother and he kept talking during my brother's test, so my brother was given the oppotunity to be more relaxed and he had the knowledge of the changed traffic conditions that I didn't.
During my drive before my actually test my bro was in the back seat and wouldn't shut up about what errors I was making
And then when he passed later he wuldn't shut up again, and demanded when I came home to post on all the forums and make a post about it in my blog etc.
"Who's that person on MSN? Tell them! Tell everyone! I'm watching you so NOW!"
Geezus H. Kreist.
AND it was dreary, grey and raining today. Everyone rushing me to get ready in time, when in the morning while everyone else was eating a breakfast I cooked or lounging around I was off dragging the garbage can to the curb of the road (a good 500 metres from the house) in the rain and washing the car and cleaning the inside of the windscreen, all in the rain.
Not to mention without being asked to do it. But also without being offered help.
Horrible day.
Ohhh ho ho but it gets better.
I'm caught up as undecided about where my heart belongs. And I just tonight hurt something that struck me to the core.
And I've decided love is pain.
By finding love in someone I know I'm only hurting another whom confessed their feelings for me as well.
It hurts to be stuck in the middle.
I truly don't know why I fight the good fight anymore. The bad things that I eye with desire terrify my friends and family when I do... they know what I'm planning.
No one wants the end to come like that.
I can't help it. I'm nearing that edge...
And ******** GREAT! Now the cut on the inside of my nose has split and is now painful and bleeding again!
******** fantastic.
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 @ 03:58am
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 @ 12:05am
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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QueenQeeko
Community Member
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 @ 04:26am
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