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lately things have been..better. i work alot, but it keeps me busy, and work seems to be not so bad lately. my home life is good to, my friends seem to be around alot and even my roomates are getting better. though something still feels as if its missing, as always life leaves many things undiscovered. i have had many thoughts and dreams towards budhism. i have left my medetations to a minimul lately, for reasons i dont really know but the time seems to just not have come up. my exercise was recently lacking but now i seem to be starting back on a better schedule, with this i can hopefully continue my physical and start back up my mental exercises. i wish there was a temple near by as i would love to be able to go. anyways i promised this would be a happy journal entry, and it is for me. though some might wonder how happy i really am. the one thing i can say is that it is very nice to have someone show compation towards you, and that kindness is something that lasts alot longer then simple pleasures. i am gifted to have friends who care for me and i am very thankful for those who support me and care for me. if it was not for them i would not be doing this journal entry and im sure many other things would not be done without their support. iwish the best to everyone, and i again thank those who care for me, and i will try my best to care for them the best i can.
 turin_turambar · Sun Oct 22, 2006 @ 07:41am · 1 Comments |
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im getting more and more random, and it seems more and more dependant on others. i seek opinions, i seek approval, and yet at the same time i dont give a damn. its all very temporary and the few minuits of satisfactions others can give me are like a drug at times. i look so hard for it and when i get it, soon after i seek for more. and when i dont have it i get angry and way to ******** overly emotional. ANYWAYS, this is a perfect example of me now no longer giving a s**t and ending this self fofilling bull crap. also on a side note my spelling sucks, im tired as s**t and im AT WORK. ******** i hate work. Im going to eat some food. LEAVE ME COMMENTS ON JOURNAL AND PROFIL.
"if you dont learn to love me, ill choke you with my heart"
turin_turambar · Sat Sep 09, 2006 @ 06:57am · 1 Comments |
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Methos - gifted medicle ninja of the sound |
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Username: Turin_turambar
Name: Methos
Age: 17
Rank: chuunin
Parents or Husband/Wife: Both Parents still alive but not in contact
Gender: male
Clan: a local medical specialty clan of the village of sound
Team: (Ill give you one so LEAVE IT BLANK!!)
Weapons: basic kunai and shurikans, makibishi(needles),ointments, and wire
Bloodline: *
Appearence: dark brown hair that hangs loosly around his eyes. he wears a white cloth around his mouth and is dressed in fitted black s**t with the typical high collar and also wears loosly fitted black pants. he also wears fitted armour with light chain underlay and some small metal pads on key points around his body. he has a small ninja pack on his right leg as well as some small packs around his waist and attached to his body armour. his eyes are a soft grey and he wears a set of white gloves with wrappings around his wrists neck and ankles. his forheadprotector is loosly placed on his forhead, showing the sign of the village of sound. (pictures please or else detailed description)
Village: of sound
Personality: decietfully calm, a misunderstood boy who's talent were warped and misused by others in the village of sound. he seeks to be kind to others but blindy seeks the future. He is seen by others as a "wierd kid"
Bio: raised by a small clan specializing in medical jutsu, he took up this with genius skill. when discovered for his marvelous talent in healing he was taken into the village of sound and trained to use his skills for attacking and assasination. he does not hold strong ties to his family though they are still alive as he feels they aer not his true family since he was adopted. he seeks strength so that he can find answers to his birth and to his future.
Likes: likes sushi, girls redface , and things that are new and intresting to him *
Dislikes: dislikes people who underestemate him and act to "cocky" *
Rilval: *
Crush: many girls redface *
Other: *
RP Sample: sitting in a dark room, filled with strange smells, methos sits at his work table mixing and practicing his medical techniques. persistent in his development of his power and creation of new techniques he does not sleep, but isntead trains. as the sun reaches up into the sky from its sleep he walks outside to greet it, large bags under his eyes he faces the upcoming sun, pulling the white cloth down from his mouth to breath in the fresh air. he rustles through his back pulling a small vial filled with a cloudy purple substance. he drinks it back, covers his mouth, and walks back into his house to get some rest, the potion he had just taken quickyl coming to affect, sending him into a deep sleep.
turin_turambar · Sun Aug 13, 2006 @ 03:09am · 0 Comments |
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i came to vent about something new i had been fealing, when my computer shut down mysteriously and i became very upset. why in my times of seeking reliefe do small annoyanecs bring on such anger, now all i feel like doing is swearing and hurting and i feel sick. people beome more and moer a waist of time. previously i spoke of some feelings of being alone, and i hate that you pity me and feel somehow you can relate, i do not want your sympathy and it makes me sick. none the less i wright this for myself.
i finally feel, and admit to myself, that there is lacking aspect of my life. i want a family, and i do not have that. i am alone in my house, all the time, and everything cclose is left behind. i work long hours to pay for my living witch is not to my needs nor my preference, i feel that the family i still have, does not want me around nor willing to support me. they have moved away from my life and i must admit to myself that there leaving is a sign that i am now on my own. this feeling of being abandoned is all to familiar to what i have denied in the past, being my right to a blood family. so now i sit alone in this shitty house with no family and a replacement family that is no more either. anywas that enough of this bull s**t. i hate having tio type on my lap with a screen on my dresser because my room is so small and clutered i dont even have a desk, and i sit on my bed , witch is a matress on he ground, to type. i feel sick with anger and i hate eveeryone for the feelings they feel.
i am normally so happy and friendly but right now i just want to hurt people, not because they deserve it but because bringing things down is my realization and visible path to bringing things back up again. anyways to hurt is to heal and growth comes from conflict. so i guess ill end this PILE of crap journal entry with this.
******** you for caring, ******** you for not.
turin_turambar · Mon Jul 24, 2006 @ 01:49am · 1 Comments |
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archangel of fate - marcus |
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username - Turin_turambar
name - marcus
Age - immortal
race - archangel
job - angel of fate
powers - able to strip angels of their wings, there power, and there immortality. is the keeper of fates. Has been trained, and has the power to defende himself, but does not use offence moves.
appearence - a pale skinned man with short black hair, he has a calming face, a large build and stands about 6 feet tall. he has large pearl wings but often keeps them tucked away. he dresses in an offical uniform of white, crested with the seal of god.
bio - he is the angel of fate, he delgates angels in heaven and has the duty to insure that angels follows the rules and laws of heaven. if angels stray he must seek them out and place judgement upon them.
turin_turambar · Wed Jul 19, 2006 @ 11:00pm · 0 Comments |
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Five Tailed Dog Demon - Gobi no Houkou |
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Username - Turin_turambar
RP Name - Houkou (more commonly known as Methos)
Race - Ancient Japanese, five tailed dog demon
Allignment - neutral/good
Age - rediculously long
Weapons: when in human form can use many martial styles as well as has full controle of the 5 elements. Is a master in illusionary techniques.
Appearance: This incredibly large dog demon is covered in thick silver and white fur, he has deep grey eyes and large claws on both his front and hinde legs, his large teeth could break the strognest of steals and his 5 tails, each representing an element, are a symbol of his emenence energy. As he is a master of illusionary techniques he can take many forms, including human forms, beast forms, and half breed forms.
turin_turambar · Sun Jul 16, 2006 @ 08:40am · 0 Comments |
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Eight Tailed Demon - Hachibi no Hachimata |
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User Name - Turin_turambar
RP name - Hachimata
Race - Ancient Japanese, eight tailed snake demon
Allignment - evil/neutral
Age - rediculously long
Weapons: when in human form can use many martial styles and energy attacks. does not have mastery over,but can use, all elements but uses poisons, curses and dark magics with perfection.
Appearance: In true form he is a large black and purple scaled, eight tailed snake demon. In his true human form he is a plain faced monstrosity with slightly scaled skin, deep snake eyes and a forked tounge. He is able to shape his Human appearence at will.
turin_turambar · Sun Jul 16, 2006 @ 08:26am · 0 Comments |
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lil chunks of heart in my cereal |
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blahh, this day sucks. im super tired already and now im just starting my shift at work that goes from 11pm to 9am. its guna be fun staying awake feeling shitty. plus the person i took over for at work is a dumn b***h who cant do her job right..a*****e.. well today was kinda wierd, one good thing followed by a kinda disapointing and sad thing. i guess the bad is my fault though seeing as i took to much time to make up my mind. ohh well now its time to suffer. i guess i just learned that you cant wait to make sure of whats best in life. yuo gota just make your best guess and go for and see if you get s**t lucky. ohh well thats all the bitching and can let fill my cereal bowl for now. i hope you all die, unless of course i dont. see ya clowns
turin_turambar · Sat Jul 15, 2006 @ 04:50am · 0 Comments |
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I have not writen in a journal in a long time, i do not like journals, nor do i like recieving comments or giving comments...but truthfully, thats a lie. i love knowing what people think of me, i love knowing who cares enough to want to know about my life. i love people and all i want is kindness in return for the kindness i give. i am a role played character, i am created and i am imagined. but for every play i put on to the world a piece of the real me lays behind in the dark. there is always truth in my lies. i have hurt people in the past, not with the intention to but i live a life followed by a shadow witch is a curse. the world lays in balance and though i wish to be kind and only have it in my soul to be kind, my kindness breeds pain, for the balance must be kept. i have yet again come to gaia searching for companions and for company. for friends and for others who just may care for me. i have found this in a few people but yet again i feel that possibly my kindness may durt black. i come searching for those who may undersand me, for someone to answer my questions and bring light to the dark unknwon questions i have hidden away. most are younge and nieve and dont speak the language i try to speak. they dont understand what i mean and only see what is given on the surface. do i speak in code? am i cryptic with my words? maybe so..but can knowone read my thoughts? i spill them out onto the paper yet there is never a response. i continue this day to spill my thoughts and leave clues to what is hidden inside me. will someone pry open that cage and be there to tame horrors traped inside? i can give such joy to others, but unless one day they take on both the joys and the pain, then they will always be pushed away. maybe i will start wrighting more. maybe illa ctually tell people whats going on in my life, what my problems are and what my fears are. maybe i will open up enough to hurt others...i will have to see how this post is responded. till a later time, this one person that knowone cares for signs off on his journal. if knowone reads this, if knwoone cares, then life will be no different. so take this as some Emo childs sob story, as a pathetic scream for help. or take this as a person with something to give, with something special and unique. for the greatest gifts can never be taken for face value. treasure is always hidden in a place you dare not tread.
Till the day someone find the treasure inside my.
~M~
turin_turambar · Mon Jul 03, 2006 @ 11:14am · 0 Comments |
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