So...it seems I'm having a flare up where my body decides all food is evil. I'm going to see the doctor as soon as I get paid Thursday so I can sort this out. Because it's sucking all the energy out of me, having so many stomach upsets per day and everything going through me. I'm TIRED!
And I want to write and be creative and work on rp posts and do stuff. So it gets frustrating being tired and sick all the time.
I looked up the FODMAPS chart/poster and found a good one online that acts as a bit of a guide, except for the fact that I can't have a bunch of things under the safe side of the chart, either.
I do think this condition must be something to do with my brain, since when I first went on Anafranil/Clomipramine years ago, it allowed me to eat almost anything, including my favourite junk food (McDonald's, KFC, burgers, Guzman Y Gomez, Chinese etc.) and even stuff that wasn't gluten free. Up to a certain point. I could have just about anything as long as I didn't overdo it.
I miss those days, for sure. I feel like my IBS is kicking my a** right now, figuratively and literally, lol. I haven't been able to leave my house for two weeks because I'm getting sick almost every day and then trying to recover, only to get another IBS attack. And I'm being super careful with what I eat, picking foods that are usually my 'safe' foods. But even those are causing bad reactions.
It's all one big, confusing puzzle. Trial and error. Up and down. I'm hoping once I get the results from tests, I'll be able to pinpoint which things to avoid. And know which ones are allergies and which ones are intolerances. Maybe they all are. I'm not sure. Do allergies get worse if you keep exposing yourself to the same things? Or build up a resistance and improve?
I have heard that there are treatments to help people overcome allergies. But I don't think those treatments are used for food intolerance. Maybe I just need to change my medication, as I've been on this one for years now and my body's so used to it that it barely helps with my intrusive thoughts from OCD. My sis rang some of the list of psychiatrists that she asked me to make for her. And she is going to ring the other half sometime soon. It's good of her to help me when I am overwhelmed like this.
The only thing with medication is, I'm worried it might change my personality, (has happened before, sucked), make me a zombie, or prevent me from being able to write and rp, which is really important to me. I also don't want more side effects such as weight gain, because I'm trying really hard to lose weight and it just won't come off. As soon as I go off the medication, it just starts to drop off, but while I'm on it, it ain't budging. I do lose some weight from all the diarrhea episodes though. Not the best way to do weight loss. Very painful. Would not reccommend.
Anyway, I wanna WRITE. Right now. But I'm too tired. I decided to watch Gab Smolders' let's play of Home Safety Hotline last night and then the new DLC. It was awesome! I can't wait for more. I hope they'd make more. It's so good. I mean, sure it's horror and I wouldn't wish for it to be real with how the fae creatures commonly hurt and kill animals and people in the series, or make them sick or other bad fates. But the creativity that went into it is so incredible. And the 90s interface is nostalgic for me. The artwork of some of the creatures is great as well. I really like the common Hobb, I think they're cute. They keep your house clean and tidy so long as you put out a bowl of cream or milk each night for them to drink. I wouldn't mind ones like those being real. So long as you don't upset it and cause it to turn into a boggart, ha ha.
I was trying to make my bed with my beautiful new cotton sheets earlier this afternoon but Chi was being a brat and trying to claw them and bunny kick them. And I don't want her to put holes in them, so I left it halfway done. I'll have something for dinner and some more Iberogast drops and just pray it doesn't go badly. I'm looking forward to pay day as usual, because I definitely need to buy some more food. Plain stuff like gluten free bread, mashed potato, that kinda thing. It's not nice to have to eat bland but it's what I have to do to get improvements right now.
There are so many things I want to do. But for this evening, I'll take it easy. Tomorrow, after she finishes work, sis said she'll take me to the chemist, so that'll be good too. Need to restock a few things such as iron tablets, Imodium, Pantoprzole etc. I'm going to buy the bare minimum because I'm trying really hard to save money so I can buy art commissions from various artists of my favourite characters and my OCs. I'd like to sit down and try to draw them as well but I have no energy right now. Oh well...
I guess I rambled long enough this time. That'll do. See ya.
Kasumi Roseglimmer Community Member 
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