I've been contemplating existance and just why the hell I am here on this lump of rock we call earth. Is there a grande design or do we play out our lives be a roll of the metaphorical dice we all keep buried in the back of our heads? And why, oh why am I here? In this town, with this boy? Is it to keep him, head above water, or to teach me somthing? Will he be a lesson on what not to let future childeren see and become, or is he as I hope, the one I will stay with and be forever happy?
emo
If this is all what is supposed to be happing, then why through in the raging mountains of jelousey!? And the supposed to be funny, hurt full comments.... It squeezes me every time an old flame is brought up, all in good contest it seems, while I only spite the basturd I've left dead and buried. What am I doing wrong? I though I was being a good b***h for him, buying him what he needed when ever. Walking my a** home in whatever weather, just so I can see him sleep as I back toward the door. I feel like s**t when I come home, because I'm not allowed to stay there , because " it looks bad". What the hell do I care what other people think it looks like! They know I'm just there to sleep so why care about my image? It makes them look bad thats why.
I feel like giving up when ever I sit to home and end up thinking about it. But when I'm with him I dont give a s**t. I love him so much , despite all the retarded things said and done. But how much can i take, before I break? This love I have has stuck fast and strangles me ever second of it. And I love ever minute of it while I'm held by you. heart
I'm so EMO emo
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