>My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
>I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
>I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
>Some people are alive only because it's illeagal to kill them.
>I used to have a handel on life, but it broke.
>Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
>You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
>Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>I'm not a complete idiot---some parts are missing.
>Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
>God must love stupid people; He made so many.
>The gene pool could use a little more chlorine.
>Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>Have a nice day, but don't do it around me.
>Your family is about as great as an orphanage on fire on Christmas Eve.
>Procrastinate now!
>I have a degree in Liberal Arts;Do you want fries with that?
>A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
>Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
>They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
>A picture is worth a thousand words, but it's also worth tree thousand times the memory.
>Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a piggie.
>The trouble with life is there is no background music.
>The original point and click was a Smith and Wesson.
>I smile because I don't know what the hell's going on.
Don't you feel amused now? mrgreen exclaim
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