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Hey everyone! The craziest thing happened in the past 12 hrs... Nate got a g/f! OMG! yeah first date already staying in her room, lucky she has the room to herself. lol... i kinda laugh at how fast it has already gone. i didnt even get anywhere this fast. although she doesnt rub me the wrong way like Em did. She feels more genuine to me, and if Em ever ends upreading this... I'm sorry, yet sometimes im not... I never really had a reason to dislike you so much as of late besides crazy turns of events that i sadly saw coming... quick fixes dont work. I really feel like a third wheel though, what with a g/f in another state and a really big fear of being alone and most of my closer friends still in new berlin... I'm really ******** lonely... its not like anyone ever bothers to read what i have to say anyways... comments are appreciated evn if they are dumb
Sincerely,
James "MadMadderX"
 MadModderX · Tue Oct 18, 2005 @ 11:27am · 1 Comments |
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WEll im in class right now so ill be brief. school is boring. 5 classes 16 creds. all either review or semi interesting. the only semi interesting things being WotA and Intro to Threate... and we havent done much in those classes either... and i have a 2-3 page essay on the food i like for english. My teacher is so huge, its disgusting. makes me twitch just thinking about it. Nate and I are having a fun time... rofl ... that was a good one. and im getting sick of being here for now because... well... i for the most part end up doing less than i did at home... DDR contest coming up this weekend is the only worthwhile thing tieing me here this weekend... and that has a possibility of getting canceled due to lack of contestants crying . the other thing holding me back from coming home is i have to work outside of intro to theatre class building scenery and sewing and lighting and such on fridays from 1-5 every afternoon until decemberish so i miss the bus ride home.
I'm going to see if i can come back and get credit for helping out at nbw for theatre class's outside of class work. I'll hafta email mrs bruce every once and a while for that info and betweeen my teacher and myself.
I miss you guys,
James "MadModderX"
MadModderX · Tue Sep 20, 2005 @ 09:06pm · 0 Comments |
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I am angry, sad, happy, dreary, etc. right now. I want to tear everything apart. Why? Because I'm going to college. After the last year meeting new friens relationships and all that i feel as though i'm losing them. I think this would b one of those Moving day esque thingies.
All I can say right now is I'll miss all of you no matter how much i may or my not have like you. I dont like leaving people but i guess i will have to call my college "home" soon and be my own person.
On this last day I went with Liz, Kyle, and Nate to 6 Flags. I had some fun but always the impending doom of moving day scraped at my feet throughout the day making myself seem depressed and overall sick...
Ill give updates tomorrow and weekly if i can about my experieces at college so if im not pester me on aim or comment on it.
Sinerely,
James "MadModderX"
MadModderX · Wed Aug 31, 2005 @ 05:45am · 0 Comments |
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Oh noes! [Insert Item I "Earned" Here] got Stolen! |
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stare Guess what im pissy about?
I am very stupified by how much she ******** cared and over dramatized her journal. Yes its tragic that someone stole something of yours, now to make it seem a lot worse is kinda overdoing it. The worst possible thing that could have happened HAPPENED?! Your iPod got stolen, that is the worst of the worst?!? I can think of worse. Someone losing his/her/its/your life or getting raped or ending up pregnant unintentionally and at the complete wrong time in your life, that is the possibly the worst of the worst. You are equating machinery to life? Yes, it is very cool machinery but even so, what the hell? Now your iPod equates to living being? Oh sob away! You have to listen to the radio! Poor you! you have to live like everyone else who has a radio, or... just maybe... you could buy a mp3/cd player! NEWSFLASH: Those exist and they're cheaper?! whoop dee friggin do you can't listen to all your music. You can listen to only one playlist at a time, I'm SO sorry. It should damper that sting you get when you have to listen to the radio...
On top of that someone friggin flames me about being jealous and not having ever earned anything. She HAD an iPod, I was jealous for a while when she got it, yes, because I am curious and iPods were "in". I'd be more concerned if SHE had gotten hurt AND the iPod was stolen. The only thing that got hurt was her ego. And to say that I dont know how it feels to earn something? I know what it is like to earn money and spend it on my own stuff. I felt proud and all. She didn't earn it all! It was a christmas/Bday present! the only part that she earned of it was probably the $100 for the 20 extra gigabytes. And i dont even know if she even used half of if! Even so, would it really matter?! She would have to choose songs to take out, HEAVEN FORBID!
Jenni made a good counter argument, not just some meaningless flames. Never be sorry you have emotions! I'd be a bit more worried if you didn't. Yes, the effects of having something stolen from you is jarring but come on... Get over it. You may never see it again, so what there are many better things than an iPod in life.
Lauri, as much of a friend and as important as you are to me, get over yourself...
James "MadModderX"
MadModderX · Sat Aug 20, 2005 @ 05:40am · 0 Comments |
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I'm havin trouble with everything lately... I'm pretty sure of what it is but the way of going about it is very taxing. I'd rant about it but it would be extremely stressful. but it should resolve soon after leaving for college.
but on other stressful notes, college is coming up... did some college shopping. I will be rooming with my best friend from highschool. I think he's sick of me already, but thats something that always happens. My mom and I did some shopping for day to day kinds of stuff: deoderant, shampoo, etc. So now i got a nice portion of the basment resserved for college stuff: lamp, chairs, haedache meds, microwave, etc.. I'm beginning to think we may not have enough room for everything sweatdrop ...
Well today i went to kyle's dad's pig roast, although i ate mostly veggies, and his dog got to my meats before i could eat them. Met liz for the first time in 2 months because of her busy schedule. Completely forgot to pick up my bro at the right time all (oops... sweatdrop ). Watched Pitch Black and the 2nd season of RvB. Played a bit of DDR and Kingdom Hearts. Overall it was a pretty good time, noone killed anyone (Luke wasn't invited, although the pig did share some resemblance) or was seriously maimed for that matter... rolleyes ...
Man, I really have a headache... I should probably remedy that before ranting...
MadModderX · Sun Aug 14, 2005 @ 03:31am · 0 Comments |
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I have never before had such a hard time rping... once again with an immature group. I understand that i am a very serious roleplayer, but to many people this is just a joke. I love role playing alot but i wish for not as many out of character fiascos! Some of the people are just stupid because one while saying something "in character" whould be something that the person would act/say out of character, another is just annoying by cracking random jokes, another over plays the character which is highly annoying because it gets nothing done, and the newbie of the group (who has played DnD before) is another of the OoC ppl, unfortunately most of my friends had little to do because of rules of the scenario. The mini-quest we had after some time was funny at first but got way out of control very quickly. I know that RPing isnt a cup of tea to specific persons but it can be fun and enjoyable, and if anyone could get me out of it on occasion i would be glad to.
Another thing that i may or may not get to do is goto the RenFair tomorrow because of complications involving broken down vechiles at the very last moment. so I hve to end up driving there (although i dont know the way very well) and im going to have to get up early and do all that such stuff, picking up ppl and the like. I have to get directions right now or else im really going to forget.
Other than that i am fairly well to do. not many complaints, something that i'd like to sort through that are mostly out of my control... well have a nice weekend and have a nice life everyone.
Good Day and good night,
James "MadModderX"
MadModderX · Sat Jul 23, 2005 @ 05:05am · 0 Comments |
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Apologies and other such stuff... |
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Ok here this is to everyone i may or may not have offended
I'M SORRY
why am i saying this? because i have hurt people but i cannot help it. I cannot always keep secrets from others, especially when they will get hurt from it. I had to tell the truth to people, I hate it but i had to do it. Everyone keeps telling me to stop saying im sorry but i havent said that in the longest time in the sense that i had done something wrong. i have shaken others trust in me and others because i told them what others thought or what i think and i have gotten ignored, probably hated and other such negative things. Sometimes i wonder why i speak my mind so frequently when i know something is going to backfire whenever i try to make a better outcome. I know all the risks, i have questioned myself, and my closest friends' trust. and somehow i can never come anywhere with it. I trust everyone at the cost of others trust.
I dont even know why i write in this sometimes when i believe noone ever reads it.
Sincerest apologies in mind,
James "MadModderX"
MadModderX · Thu Jun 23, 2005 @ 06:24am · 0 Comments |
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You know how you feel whe someone says something stupid and just never realizes how much it hurts, how much it stabs you, how deep it makes the hatred go? This is how i feel. I was hurt, He didnt realize it but it did. Noone will understand it, and that is where i will leave it.
I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately. Graduation, graustion party, find a job, leaving for college. Right now I want to be able to sit and not care. for once i would like to be happy. but know that that cant happen, because i am not allowed to be happy, because someone always has to s**t on my parade. for once in my life, i do not want to be insulted, looked down upon, or be taken on a guilt train because i am sick of it. I for the most part am sick of life and most of the people around me, for the most part everyone is further from me than i can imagine, and noone has reached out except one person. That one person is waiting for me to reach back out of the hole that i have dug for myself and i dont intend on keeping that person waiting.
Why live when you have already died
MadModderX · Sat Jun 18, 2005 @ 05:32am · 0 Comments |
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Well, things are going quite well |
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I have had an interesting few days lately... I'm back with my ex which everyone seems to have a problem with that. probably because everyone thinks that if we break up again i'm going to go dismal and "im gonna kill myself" kind of thing. Well i dont believe that will happen, i wont allow that to happen.
Well I really dont have much to say except possibly sen me an exterminator because i think i got bees living in my house and they really really make me nervous typing here
I give my girl lots o hugs heart
Well i will update sooner or later, ninja
James "MadModderX"
MadModderX · Sun May 29, 2005 @ 07:26pm · 0 Comments |
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