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Everyone has friends right? Friends to depend on...friends to things to......friends to be there for and listen to. Friends that care about each other. Well sometimes, it doesn't work out that way. I've been put through a lot when it comes to friends; between fighting, moving, hurting, and being abandoned. I listen to them when they need me to, and I do what I can to help them. Yet most of the time, when I need that as well, I feel as though I'm walking into an empty room. Wanting someone's shoulder to cry on; but there isn't a person before me. Why is that?
If only they knew how much they meant to me. Inside and outside of Gaia, my friends mean the world to me. If I lost any of them, a piece of me would break away. I try to be there for everyone and I try to fix things as much as I can. Yet I feel as though I'm the only one working on several friendships. Making sure that we don't break apart. Making sure everyone is happy. Even if it causes me pain I guess. For it doesn't matter to me if I'm in pain or discomfort. As long as those I love are happy and safe. Isn't that what it's supposed to be like? Caring for those no matter what?
If so, then why do I feel so down right now? What friends are caring for me to make sure I'm happy and safe. What friends are listening to me right now? Who's shoulder can I cry on? Who's helping me to keep everything together when I need my friends most right now? Or do I have to do everything on my own, and let everyone forget that I'm hurting and need them as much as they need me. Do they need me? I thought they did.....I thought they wanted me......Yet sometimes I can't help but wonder......When I feel so alone like this....
My friends here and outside of Gaia, I'm saying this now. I love and cherish every single one of you. I don't know what I'd be like if I hadn't met any one of you; or what I'd do if I lost any one of you. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I promise all of you!
If I lost my friends, I know I would fall into dark despair, all alone in pain that no one mend.
My dear, dear friends, I love every one of you very much.....