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This is how much I really hate you. |
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I thought I had loved her at one time, but I never felt it truely. It was pity in disguise. I pitied her, and I wish I had never even asked her name.
Sierra, you are one of the only people I will never forgive. I don't care if you never read this because I know you'll ignore it once you read the first sentence if you ever find it.
Today, I woke up, and I knew this would be the day that I'd have to give up. I'm not hiding it anymore. This morning, when I got on MySpace, I had a message from her:
"It is very low of you to talk bad about me when you know damn well I cant see it! Everything you wrote about me isnt true anyway! Do you like lying to people? Do you want people to feel sorry for you because you dated me? You really never shouldve wrote any of that. You know exactly how I am with revenge. I dont let people walk all over me like you do. Jakob saw it too. He already wants to kick your a**. If I were you I would stay away from him. Well it used to just be him you had to watch out for but now you have to watch out for both of us. Good luck.
Oh and by the way, good job making the drumline. I know for sure our drumline will completely fall apart with you in it."
1. She could see it. She could see it in my eyes and on my freaking profile page. She's lying through the skin of her teeth.
2. It is true. This is what I said on my profile: "That was where I made one of the biggest mistakes in my life. Dating Sierra. That made me so depressed. I could hardly stand myself anymore. She would whine and complain about how terrible life is for her, when she knows good and well that there are over a billion other people in the word with the same problem. I mean yeah, it's okay to tell me what is going on. I'll see if I can help fix it. But when it was fixed, she'd break it again and again. I started to wonder if she was doing it on purpose. We finally broke up."
It's all true. I mean, why would I lie about my problems? Why did she make such a big deal about a few sentences? I thought she hated me enough already.
3. I don't want people to feel sorry for me for dating you. I was adding in a piece of my life that I'll never forget. All the pain I went through at that time. She had no idea. When it comes to emotions, for all I know I am the weakest person in the world. But when it comes to hiding them, I can promise you the smile on my face was not fake.
4. People don't walk all over me. I respect. I show respect to my friends, strangers and my enemies alike. She should be lucky that I don't want to murder her.
5. I don't give a damn what her boyfriend thinks! For all I care, they could be up in her room having unprotected sex! I know they've done it! Krystal AND Amber told me!
6. Oh, how mature of her. She had to add a nice little child like ending. "I'm sure the drumline will fall apart with you on it." She doesn't know what the hell I can do when it comes to drums. She'll be eating her words next week.
 lcey-Chan · Wed Jul 25, 2007 @ 07:31pm · 2 Comments |
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100 THINGS ABOUT ME
1. Real Name: Tyler
2. Middle: Scott
3. State: Louisiana
4. Born: December 5, 1990
5.Grade: 10th....
6. Male or Female: male
7. Bus: What about it?
8. School: St. Amant High School
9. Occupation: Breathing.
10. Initials: T.S.S. That means I am hot. "Tsssss" LAWL!
11. Screen Name: lcey-Chan
Your Appearance
12. Hair Color: Brownish-Black
13. Hair Length: Not too short, not to long.
14. Eye color: brown
15. Best Feature: People say my eyes are "Pretty" >.>
16. Height: 5' 5"
17. Braces? Yes...
18. glasses: Nope.
19. Freckles?: A TINY bit
20. Diploma?: Not yet.
Your Firsts
22. First best friend: Jstin and Krystal. I'm not sure who I met first, so I'll say both. xD
23. First Award: T-Ball
24. First Sport You Joined: T-Ball
25. First thing you did today: Ate breakfast at my grandmothers
26. First Real vacation: Disney
27. First thing you said today: "Good morning Zoey!" -pets the kitty-
28. First Love: Kyleah was my first REAL relationship... I don't count Sierra. She's a slut.
Favorites
29. Movie: Evan Almighty
30. TV Show: Futurama, Family Guy, and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends! : D
32. Rapper: They ALL SUCK.
33. Place to get groceries: Wal Mart I guess...
34. Food: Mac & Cheese, Lasagnia [SP?]
35. Season: Spring
36. Candy: ROLLOS
37. Sport to watch: Tennis
38. Restaurant: Hmm... I guess McDonalds. LAWL.
40. Store: Hot Topic, American Eagle, and Aeropostle
41. School Subject: Band. xD
42. Animal: Penguins and Kitties.
43. Book: The Harry Potter Series
44. Magazine: Game Pro. I'm a dork! xD
Currently
45. Doing before you started this survey: Talking to Krystal on My Space
46. Feeling: Bored
47. Wearing: My PJs!
48. Crying about: I'm not crying, but I hurt
49. Eating: Nothing
50. Drinking: Nothing
51. Typing: This
53. Listening "So Damn Clever" By Plain White T's
54. Thinking about: Her
55. Wanting: Her
56. Watching: The compuetr screen? xD
Future
57. Where do you see yourself in 5 years: Probably at LSU.
58. Kids: 2. The first will be Cameron [or Kamryn if a girl] The second will be Casey [Or Kacie if a girl]
59. Want to be Married: Yes
60. Career in Mind: Author or a Script Writer
Which is Better with the opposite Sex
63. Hair color: Does it matter?
64. Hair length: see above
65. Eye color: see above
66. Measurements: See above
67. Cute or sexy: Cute
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: I love them both.
70. Short or Tall: Does it matter?
71. Easygoing or serious: Both
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: I really don't mind either of them.
73. Good or Bad: I guess Good, but not a goody goody
74. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive....
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Hmm....now this one is a little hard....
Have You Ever
78. Kissed a Stranger: No
79. Had major surgery: Yeah....
80. Gone commando: What? xD
81. Ran Away From Home: Yes
82. Broken a bone: Yes... on my birthday...
83. Got an X-ray: Yes
85. Broken Someone's Heart: I hope not
86. Dumped someone: Yes
87. Cried When Someone Died: Everytime.
88. Cried At School: When my friend commited duicide...
Do You Believe In
89. God: I love him to death
90. Miracles: Yes, but they don't like me...
91. Love at First Sight: No. Thats lust.
92. Ghosts: Not really...
93. Aliens: I believe we are not alone.
94. Soul Mates: Yes...
95. Heaven: Yes...
96. Hell: Yes
97. Answered prayers: Yes...
98. Kissing on The First Date: I don't know. I never really went on a "date", but I kissed my ex the first time I went to her house...
99. Horoscopes: No
Answer Truthfully
100. Is there someone you wish you had?: Yes
lcey-Chan · Mon Jul 09, 2007 @ 04:56pm · 2 Comments |
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I bursted into tears two hours ago and I still cannot stop.I have no idea what's wrong with me. I feel as if I were stabbed in the back, or as if I'm so hurt that I can't breathe. I just feel terrible. My heart is broken no reason. I'm longing for something that I can't figure out.I wish I could stop because I really cant stand myself anymore. I can't stop my tears. I feel so scared and alone and I can't make it out why. I really need to see a psychiatrist.
lcey-Chan · Fri Jun 15, 2007 @ 01:19am · 2 Comments |
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This is REALLY getting on my LAST nerve! Everything I wrote SUCKS! I can't even write a simple poem! I know there's a thing called writer's block, but for 2 months? COME ON! I can't write poems, stories, song, NOTHING. I can't get inspired. If I do think of something it's for a freaking FAN FICTION! That's going to get me NOWHERE in life! I just wish I could think of something that will totally blow everyone away. Everything I think of is already used up. It just feels so unoriganal. I can't stand saying this, but I have to. My life as a writer is gone. I will never write a song or story again. My dream will just blow away in the wind. Now I'll just do my next best thing, singing. That'll get me nowhere. There's no way in hell someone would like my singing when there are so many people out there that just melt people with their awesome voices. My voice changed a lot in the past year. I can't sing as good as I used to. I suck. My future is Chevron gas station. I know it is.
lcey-Chan · Tue Jun 12, 2007 @ 07:56pm · 6 Comments |
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=IQNsf0UU87g
"The Beauty in Ugly"
Jason Mraz
(Pre-Verse)
She's so big hearted,
But not so remarkable,
Just an ordinary humble girl,
Expecting nothing as we're made to think it's a pretty person's world...
(Verse 1)
But you are beautiful and you'd better go show it,
So go look again,
You gotta be true to you're own,
If you really want to go to the top,
Do you really wanna win?
Don't believe in living normal,
Just to satisfy demand...
(Chorus)
Well if you want to get free,
And if you want to do the passionate thing,
And if you want to get smart for the sake of your heart and all,
You should own your name and stand up tall,
And get real,
And see the beauty in ugly...
(Verse 2)
You are fresh,
You're face is fabulous,
Don't forget your one of a kind,
When nobody's checking the deeds you've done,
And nobody's hearing your cries,
You make all the fashion statments just by dressing up your mind...
(Chorus x2)
lcey-Chan · Fri Jun 08, 2007 @ 10:08pm · 5 Comments |
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I'm sooo excited. This year, I WILL make drum line! No matter what it takes!! =D
That's it. xDD
lcey-Chan · Fri May 25, 2007 @ 11:52pm · 3 Comments |
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Dear Jordan,
I know this is really stupid, seeing as I'm typing this letter to you, but you'll never read it. I just want to let you know about something you did to change my life. You're song, "Outside Looking In", made me realize what hell my life has been. Not only about people towards me, but me towards people.
"You don't know my name,
You don't know anything about me,
I tried to play nice,
I wanna be in your game."
People ignore me when I'm hurt. I've known this forever. But not until now, I realized that I really ignore people when they're hurting, only because of the fact that I am hurting. I focus everything around myself and that's what makes things worse. But, maybe everyone else is ignoring me for the same reason...
"The things that you said,
You may think I'd never hear about them,
But words travel fast,
I'm telling this to your face:
I'm standing here behind your back."
People talking about me. It's everywhere. "He's not the same person anymore." "He's a nerd." "Tyler, stop being smart, and let someone else answer that!" I hear about it everyday. Someone right now is probably saying something similar to someone else. But I'm guilty too. I talk about people. I call people names. "Retard." "Loser." "f**."
"If you could read my mind,
You might see more of me than meets the eye,
But you've been all wrong,
Not who you think I am,
You've never given me a chance."
You can't judge people by what they look like, how they act or what they believe in. That's not who they truely are. People say stuff like that about me all of the time, but I say the same thing about them. I feel ashamed for this. Two wrongs don't make a right.
"I'm tired of staying at home,
I'm bored and all alone,
I'm sick of wasting all my time."
Throughout all of this, people get depressed, and find reasons to stay this way. People fake being sick so they can stay home and not go to school or work because they don't want to face what they see and hear everyday. So many people die everyday because of depression and suicide. That makes you think: "Did I have anything to do with it?" When my friend commited suicide, I knew right away I had taken part in this wrong doing. People called him "Faggison" and picked on him because he was a sophmore in high school and still played around with trading cards. So what? I'm a guy, and I love singing and dancing more than sports! Sure it seems unnatural, but it's all I have. Stay along side your dreams forever because no one can pull them down unless you let them.
"You don't know how it feels to be outside the crowd,
You don't know what it's like to be left out,
You don't know how it feels to be your own best friend,
On the outside looking in."
This is what is not true. Everyone knows how it feels to beoutside the crowd, to be left out, and to be your own best friend. Everyone gets down and everyone can relate to these lyrics. I believe everyone is ALWAYS on the outside looking in. Even if it doesn't appear that they are.
So, that's what I had to say. You have become my hero (Or should I say heroine) because of this song, and I believe evryone should listen to it and understand your message.
Your friend,
Tyler
lcey-Chan · Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 03:20am · 1 Comments |
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"Our Time Now"
Plain White T's
Oh oh oh oh
There will be no rules tonight
If there were we'd break 'em
Nothing's gonna stop us now
Let's get down to it
Nervous hands and anxious smiles
I can feel you breathing
This is right where we belong
Turn up the music
Oh oh oh oh
This is the dance for all the lovers
Takin' a chance for one another
Finally it's our time now
These are the times that we'll remember
Breaking the city's heart together
Finally it's our time now
It's our time now
This is more than just romance
It's an endless summer
I can feel the butterflies, leading me through it
Take my heart, I'll take your hand
As we're falling under
This is an addiction girl
Let's give in to it
Oh oh oh oh
This is the dance for all the lovers
Takin' a chance for one another
Finally it's our time now
These are the times that we'll remember
Breaking the city's heart together
Finally it's our time now
It's our time now
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Now
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
This is the dance for all the lovers
Takin' a chance for one another
Finally it's our time now
These are the times that we'll remember
Breaking the city's heart together
Finally it's our time now
It's our time now
(It's our time now)
It's our time now
(It's our time now)
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Finally it's our time now
"So Damn Clever"
Plain White T's
Thought that I was in control
And in my mind you were mine, what did I know?
I didn't listen when they said
That you were fake, manipulating boys to bed
I thought they had you wrong
In the morning you were gone
Everytime I see your face
I can see the games you play
Nobody can break hearts better
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
Turns you on
Always getting what you want
Made me believe that we would be together
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
We were over from the start
Intertwined just in time to fall apart (fall apart)
I can't believe I missed the signs
You were cold and they all told me not to try
But I thought they had you wrong
In the morning you were gone
Just vanished from my life
Didn't even say goodbye
Everytime I see your face
I can see the games you play
Nobody can break hearts better
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
Turns you on
Always getting what you want
Made me believe that we would be together
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
You pulled all the right strings
Saying all the right things
Now that you've gotten what you wanted you don't want it anymore
Everytime I see your face
I can see the games you play
Nobody can break hearts better
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
Turns you on
Always getting what you want
Made me believe that we would be together
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
Oh
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
Oh
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
Oh
Made me believe that we would be together
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
lcey-Chan · Tue Feb 20, 2007 @ 02:25pm · 2 Comments |
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