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sweatdrop
1. First rule of AG is, you do not talk about AG.
2. Second rule of AG is, you do not talk about AG.
3. If someone eats, shoots, boils, or otherwise causes you bodily harm. It's just tough love.
4. Yaoi, Guro, Pineapple's, and 4chan references will happen.
5. we heart loli
6. No shirts and no shoes, go easy on the Gator's digestive tract.
7. Spamming will go on as long as it has to.
8. If this is your first post in the AG, you're going to get moose-touched.

Dear The Streamigator Prime:

We regret to inform you Sun is no longer with us, early today he disappeared in a flurry of, "I'mma gonna supernova, I'm gonna supernova, I'm gonna supernova! gonk " We value your consumership here with us at Sun & Heat Co., so we wish to know what we can do to appease you, the consumer.

Fearfully yours,
Sun Superior #23

Anyone can backlog, but it takes balls to backlog the Anti-Guild.

It's been approximately two years since the creature came into our midst, at first, most shrugged it off as temporary, a warning to outsiders that certain actions would result in immediate devouring. for a time, we thought little of it, it was more a protector than a threat, but it didn't take long for that to change. Soon, the creature turned, devouring the people we thought it protected, all the while growing stronger, smarter, and far more dangerous. Eventually, it would disappear into the shadows, taking time to come out occasionally to feast on unwary 'lunchmeats' as it called them.

Initially, I believed the creature to be humanoid in nature, short and well built to accenuate bi-pedal manuverability, while maintaining the ability to rip it's meal to shreds either with it's teeth of bare hands. As it evolved, the creature remained upright in my mind, as no one had truly seen it since it struck out on it's own, lurking in dark corners, similar to a boogie man, save for the fact that it had razor sharp teeth and claws. Flight, space travel, acidic spit, atomic breath, throughout it was still, partially, humanoid.

However, after spying a butterfly in the trees earlier this week, I had to wonder, was my assement right? Could the creature have evolved to such a point that it was no longer similar to what it was before? Soon after returning to camp that evening, I recieved word that the creature had moved on to much larger game, the kind of creatures that make even the most skilled hunters in our expedition team sweat. Immediately, I set to work on possible evolutionary changes, the one I've deemed most likely following.

The creature, Streamgator, has evolved much over time. I had the chance to see it on several occasions prior to it's seclusion, even add to it's evolution in a futile attempt to kill it. However, it seems likely that, if moving onto larger game, it would adopt a more predatory evolutionary stance; trading in two legs for four, while being able to keep it's hands. As such, when wrestling with large beasts, I forsee it's arm length having grown roughly three-quarter it's height vertically, giving it a distinct advantage in leverage, not to mention the smaller prey that cound be snagged and heafted before being devoured. Likewise, it's legs have probably grown as well to make up for the arm length, giving it an edge in chasing down faster prey. In that reguard, I expect the chest cavity, as well as the internal organs, have grown to make it more powerful, needing to take fewer breaths over time, circulate blood faster, and, of course, eat more. The tail, which I formerly assumed less as a weapon and more for balance, is likely now a vicious tool used more than the transmission of venoms, and is instead used as a constrictor, choking the life out of it's prey. I can only imagine what has changed within it's brain and various poisens, not to mention the teeth, though, I believe that those would have stayed similar to what they were before, as it seemed to be at peak preadator state in those areas, though I imagine it's jaw has only unhinged further, it's mouth gotten larger so that it may adequetly devour the larger game.

As I said, these are only assumptions, the only real way to know is to track down the Streamgator myself. Of course, I'd be devoured before I could even get information back to home base, so any effort seems fruitless. Heed my warnings, should this journal live on past me, stay out of the jungle alone, it is his territory now.

- Kin #26395

More comics need to emphasize how excessive brooding just makes people not like you.

And I don't have an e-peen, but you apparently do. Get rid of it, your balls are touching.