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For Quentin
When times are hard
I know for sure,
That life goes on
When love is pure.
Love can reach a thousand miles,
love can touch the stars.
And love can take the form of smiles,
to hide the painful scars.
Love can take the form of tears,
form of laughter to our ears.
My love, though, has it's own destin
And takes the form of you, Quentin.
I'll love you forever, and don't you forget:
The sky over my head is the same over your's, and as long as it's there, we have a connection. Look up, my love, and lay your eyes upon the stars, because chances are, those stars are watching over me.
 The_Last_Highlander · Wed Feb 07, 2007 @ 05:00am · 0 Comments |
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Zero sleep last night.
That should be a good thing.
But not much good has been happening lately.
I hate myself. I hate my life.
I hate Gaia and I hate AIM.
I hate relying on it.
Jim Croce said it right. I wish I could save time in a bottle.
Because lately, we've had none.
cry
The_Last_Highlander · Fri Jul 07, 2006 @ 05:23pm · 0 Comments |
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Quentin and I have had a rough time the past few days. Partly because of my jealousy, my need to see him, my overall crazy insane amount of love for him.
But I really do love him. He does all these amazingly sweet things for me that make me smile, but he doesn't realize that it's the small subtle things that he does that I wouldn't give up for the world. Don't get me wrong, I love the sweet things he does, and I'd die if he stopped...but it's the little things. Like when he kisses me. Or hugs me. Or tells me he loves me. It's when he plays with my hair, or lets me play with his. It's when I tell him something weird and creepy and he just thinks it's what makes me me. It's when we go to the bed at the same time so that I know when we close our eyes, it's like looking at each other's faces.
I love him. And he tells me that he loves me. I'm a firm believer that in love, you go through hard times, and you don't come out. But true love. You could be put through hell, and at the end of the day, your lover is the only one that matters.
Quentin Gunn. I love you. You'll make me a happy husband some day. And I hope that you feel the same about me. Because whether you like it or not...we're stuck with each other.
heart ~AnT~ heart
The_Last_Highlander · Thu Jun 29, 2006 @ 06:58am · 0 Comments |
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I feel really emo lately. I hate it, I hate being this emotional but keeping it bottled up. It ******** kills me. But it's all stupid s**t, so I keep my mouth shut. I feel as though everyone's lying to me all the time. There's only a few people I trust. I hate being this edgey, I really do. I think everyone's against me when I'm like this. I'm jealous, I'm hard to trust. I don't know what it is.
I think the reason that I have such a hard time trusting people is because I've been such a bad person in the past. Georgia and Devin felt it, when I'd snap at them for no reason. Quentin felt it, but I came clean with him. I've gained all their trusts back (I hope) but I can't help but have a small doubt in my mind that they all feel as though they can't trust me fully. Or that there is a small part of me that makes them be untruthful just as revenge. I don't know, I think I'm just going nuts.
I love you so much Quentin. I say it too much sometimes. I say it too much all the time. I feel clingy, I feel as though I'm always keeping you to myself. And I think that keeps me from being as close to you as I'd like to be. I think it makes you feel flustered...I think it makes you feel as though I'm obsessed. I guess I am obsessed. I just want to keep you to myself. I don't think you'd ever tell me any of this, though. You're too caring to tell me this if it were true.
Like the subject says, I'm just venting. Don't comment on this, in fact, I'd rather everyone wouldn't read this at all. I just had to get it down.
June:
24-25 friends house. Because my parents wat to go out and party ~Will be online~
July:
4-7: Friends house because my parents are ging on Vacation ~will be online~
8th: Angels Birthday ~Iffy...~
8-9: Have a festival to work at. ~Will be online on the 9th~
16-23: California... ~Will.. not be online U_U~
But I will email you early on the 16th and I will be back sunday night to PM you <3
The last week in July or so: Camping trip with family -twitches out of controll- ~Will not be online...~
August:
Some people arecoming up from Austrailia and They have a tone of day trips planned... I will be going to a lot of friends houses and not all of them have interent... also sometimes I will be draged along with them on overnight trips... But I am not sure on all the details... -shrugs-
The_Last_Highlander · Thu Jun 22, 2006 @ 08:52am · 0 Comments |
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Love. The Meaning of Life. |
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So.
I proposed.
Officially.
::smiles::
heart
AnT
heart
The_Last_Highlander · Fri Jun 16, 2006 @ 11:05pm · 0 Comments |
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I feel really depressed...I don't know why, so don't bother asking what's wrong...Oh well.
I'm off to bed, maybe I good night sleep will do me some good...
heart
The_Last_Highlander · Mon Jun 05, 2006 @ 05:13am · 0 Comments |
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Okay...I'm feeling a little emo tonight, so you can either read this...or hit back. Because I'm not really looking for feedback, I just need to vent.
Sometimes I feel worthless. Like anything I do doesn't make a difference in the slightest. I look at myself and I just feel like I'm easily replaced. At work, I'm sure they wouldn't think twice about firing me. I mean..for a week or two, people would question were I'm at, but someone will just take the spot. At school, only my friends matter to me. If I was to die, most of the kids in school would never even realize it. I work my a** off at home, work, and school and I get no appreciation for it. It's like everything I do goes unnoticed. But there is more...
I love him. I love him so much that I get jealous, I have to bite my tongue to stop from saying things that I really don't want to say. In a way, I'm hoping he doesn't read this -- or at least for a while, until I sort my emo-ness out. There are nights that I feel as though I'm holding him back. He could be someone - go somewhere. I just feel as though I'm stopping that. He could be with so many other guys, but insists on staying with me. I love him so much for that. He's beautiful, smart, talented, funny, everything I could ever want. There are some days that I literally don't do anything except think about him. I can't wait to get home to talk to him. On the days I don't work, I literally sit with my laptop and hit refresh every couple of minutes, just to see if he's PMed me, or replied to our role play. It's so obsessive...but I can't stop. I know you'll read this sooner or later, so I'm going to tell you this now. I love you, Quentin Gunn, I love you with so much passion that my heart feels like it could collapse upon itself. You're smile is mezmorizing, your voice was angelic. And no matter how often my plans for the future change, you are the one constant that I couldn't be happier with. I know you get bored with me sometimes, and I know that there are much better looking guys than me (that isn't hard to do...) out there that would gladly date you...but I'm so happy you've stayed with me. I've hurt you in the past, but that has only made my love for you grow, and it will never, ever, happen again. I sometimes think about what life was like before you...and I remember that I had nothing to live for. You, you, you are my life. And I love you too god damn much for words.
~William~
heart
The_Last_Highlander · Mon Mar 20, 2006 @ 05:04am · 0 Comments |
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Again I've succumbed to something I thought I never would have to. I've become entangled in love, again. I'd say that it was a bad feeling, but I'd be lying. I never stopped loving him, but when depression started in again, those feelings slowly became the last thoughts in my mind. I never should have allowed it, but I can honestly say I wasn't in my right mind. I am now, though, and I love him more than I ever remember it in the past. I can picture him in my head, his face, his hair. He's the most amazing thing in the world.
I love you Quentin, forever and always. Never forget that I do.
~Will~
The_Last_Highlander · Sun Jan 22, 2006 @ 08:13am · 0 Comments |
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"It amuses me to a great extent that how I promised not to ever do it again, I've done Just the opposite. I lay awake last evening, staring into the darkness of my rOom. I found myself tHinking thoughts that I haven't imagined I'd ever think about again. But I have. All of it is quite iNteresting, really. I couldn't wait for the next night to come around so I could smile and enjoy myself again. I can't remember the last time I was so enthralled to be alive...well...sort of. I know that I shouldn't be so immature about it, but I can't stop myself. I'll be sure to contain myself, though, just for a little while.
"I dreamt last night that I was killed. That is, after I finally managed to get to sleep. It was like it was all some game that everyone tried to kill everyone else. I have to laugh as I recall it now, but at the time, it appalled me. I was thrown from a window, but I didn't panic. Strange, really. I felt myself falling in the dream, like one would feel themself falling in reality. I never paniced, though. I embraced it. It was actually quite soothing. But alas, after these last few days, I wouldn't want to die.
"I really can't think of anything else worthy of space here, so I'll leave you for now.
Vale, amicus.
The_Last_Highlander · Sun Nov 13, 2005 @ 12:58am · 0 Comments |
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