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I'M SO TIRED OF PRETENDING!!!!
When will you people notice, or even give a damn about how I feel. Lately if I call a friend and need advice or a shoulder to lean on you want to know what I hear,
Sorry i'm busy, or, I dont feel like listening right now, or oh wait heres the best one, I'm with my friends call me later.
I'M YOUR FRIEND TOO! or so I thought!
So screw you guys! I need someone who cares and will listen and thats obviously not the people who call themselves my friends! In this world right now I have a total of 7 people I trust, that I can call and they will actually listen! and you know what, TWO OF THEM ARE IN ANOTHER STATE!!! ONE IN THE WEST COAST!! Then there is 5 of you here who seem to care you know who you are, some of you I dont even bother calling anymore cause well I know we will end up fighting and I dont need that s**t anymore.
I'm tired of the tears, of the wondering if my life is worth it, do you people know how close I came to running away forever recently, I was saved by someone who cares! And then in the past year alone how many times I have wished i had died instead of my grandma! HUH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES!!!! I LOST COUNT!
But he didnt, cause he answers the phone when i call, if I send an email he responds, and if I say i need help, guess who drops everything to be at my side, HIM I wont put his name here cause you guys dont need to know it.
He isnt the only one though, my other friend, when I needed a place to stay opened his door to me, game me a ride to school, I spent half a week at his house talking to him and you know what, he looked me in the eye and said that he cared, that he would keep my secrets, and if I needed to cry to remember he was there. NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER SAID THAT WHEN I CALLED CRYING! You told me to stop crying he didnt! He let me cry! Thats what I need in a friend
If this ofends you OH WELL realize that I have changed,
I admit it I AM STILL A KID and I NEED HELP SERIOUSLY but no one is willing to help me what I need it the most. So I hope you understand that when I graduate and leave, the only reason I will come back, is for five people who have taught me love, who have showed me that humans can be selfless. Thank you Erin Ashley Nathan james and Will,
 Le Fille Cassee · Sun Nov 18, 2007 @ 10:00pm · 0 Comments |
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