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The Not-So-Intriguing Ramblings of Sabrina Martineaux. I know you don't really give a s**t about what I have to say, and I know you probably don't exactly approve or permit my own opinions and thoughts, but you can go ******** yourself.


The Itsy Bitsy Faustus
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Just in Case you Thought 'Friday' Was the Worst Song Ever.
Which it might still be, actually, but “My Jeans” by Jenna Rose certainly gives it a run for its money. If for any reason you haven't seen this video and heard this song, you can watch it here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DwT_2QQU64.

The song features Jenna Rose, who looks to be about twelve, seeing a commercial on TV about a pair of designer jeans that she tried on at the mall. Upon changing the channel, she notices various celebrities all wearing “her” jeans (a dubious claim, as Jenna looks like she’s still wearing girl’s sizes). Somehow, this is exciting enough to prompt her and several friends to dance around Jenna’s bedroom. (All of them are wearing skirts, by the way). Then they go to the mall (correction: Jenna drives them to the mall, even though she’s probably not heavy enough to legally sit in the front passenger seat yet) and stare at the jeans through a shop window (at least, they presumably do that, even though we never get to see the infamous jeans). There’s a random rapper guy who shows up at some point; actually, there’s two, but one of them does basically nothing. After the rapping, and after Jenna’s delivered the incredibly stupid line “Jack my swag”, there’s finally some jeans-wearing at the very end.

Oh, and did I mention it’s AutoTuned? Did I mention the lyrics sound as if they were written by a second grader? Did I mention Jenna’s ridiculously exaggerated facial expressions? And did I emphasize enough times that this is a song called “My Jeans” about a pair of jeans the singer does not own, and there are no jeans to be seen for 95% of the video?

And now it’s time for some lyrical dissections!

Staring out my window, I brush my hair
Does the excitement never cease?

Getting dressed to meet my friends, but I don’t know what to wear
Hmm… how about clothes? Clothes are good. People like clothes.

Commercial shows on my TV about these cool designer jeans
What a fascinating life you lead, Jenna. Getting excited over a designer jeans commercial? Not knowing what to wear when all you’re going to be doing is hanging out with friends? Then, deciding the whole experience needs to be immortalized in song form? Fascinating.

That I put on at the mall, change the channel and look what I see
Let me guess — jeans?

Hannah Montana’s wearing my jeans

Ashley Tisdale’s wearing my jeans

Keke Palmer’s wearing my jeans


I think a more appropriate phrase would be “I tried on their jeans at the mall the other day”, since they all own the jeans and you don’t. Perhaps that’s less OMG-worthy, but, then again, what do I know? All I know is that I’ve never found a pair of jeans anywhere near as exciting as Jenna does.

I just can’t believe they wore those jeans like me!
I have a feeling that Jenna has a hard time believing in lots of things. How’s she coping with the realization that celebrities live on Earth with her and are similarly affected by gravity?

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

Like me (me) (me) (me) (me) x4


Dear whoever-wrote-this-song: “Catchy hook” does not mean “making twelve-year-olds sing AutoTuned random noise for two lines in a row, then tacking on endless repetitions of a one-syllable word”.

She wore those jeans like me
Thanks for saying that, we didn’t quite catch that the last fifty billion times you said it.

Staring at the mall window, I finger-drew a smile
Who the hell does that?! I mean, even at age twelve, who goes around drawing little invisible smiley faces on windows?

I thought about how cool I’d look if I had them on right now
You’d look like a twelve-year-old wearing overpriced jeans. If that’s your definition of “cool”, so be it.

I’m anxious, excited, they’re on my mind
This jeans obsession is developing into something quite serious, it seems. Pretty soon she’s going to be suffering from jeans withdrawal and then she’ll probably try to kill us or something.

It feels like Heelys are racing on my spine
Heelys, in case you didn’t know, are those shoes with wheels in the soles, allowing you to roll about by shifting your weight to your heels. I have no idea what it would feel like to have Heelys racing on your spine, or how Jenna came up with that simile.

I just can’t wait to call these my jeans
I just can’t wait until this song is over.

Everyone can look at me in my jeans
Yeah, well, it would help if you weren’t wearing a skirt.

I can go anywhere in my jeans
How about next you invest in a decent songwriter?

But I still can’t believe she wore those jeans like me
Last I checked, there were three people wearing those jeans like Jenna.

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

Like me (me) (me) (me) (me) x4

She wore those jeans like me

For God’s sake, we get the point. Now shut the ******** up.

One, here comes the two to the three
Actually, it should be “Here comes the random rapper kid”.

No, it’s the T-R-I-double-G-Y
Right. Triggy. Who no one has ever heard of.

The lines are ******** terrible, but he can rap okay I guess.

She got those cool new jeans that sittin’ in the J-E-T but she’s so fly
See what I mean?

You might see me in a video, TV show, MTV, Nick, HBO
Yeah, I kind of doubt it. “My Jeans” ruined this kid’s career before it even started, it seems.

Jenna could be a model in a fashion show
Triggy has low standards.

Look, there she goes:
Brace yourselves. Stupidest part of “My Jeans” coming up.

A-B-C, 1-2-3
That’s very good, Jenna. Now can you tell us the days of the week?

That girl wore her jeans like me
An exciting occurrence in Jennaland.

I bet she’s mad, ‘cuz I look fab
Jenna, you’re a twelve-year-old in a skirt. No one is mad. Unless they’re mad they have to listen to you.

Ha ha ha ha, jack my swag
…I-I’m speechless.

Sticks and stones may break my bones
…but chains and whips excite me, na na na, come on!

Sorry, wrong song.

But mine look new, and hers just look so old
....Wait, are we still talking about bones?

So old, so old
Was there any reason for this verse to exist in the first place?

Oh my, look at those jeans
It’s Triggy again, and that other dude who just follows him around everywhere! And they’re looking at jeans, despite the fact that, so far in this video, there have been no jeans to be looked at whatsoever!

They should be posted in magazines
If they’re designer jeans, I’m sure they are. Also: “posted”? What is this, IRL Facebook?

Matter of fact, let me get my phone, you strike a pose
Who is he even talking to? Jenna? Nothing we’ve seen even suggests they’re at the same mall.

Smile for the camera — FREEZE!
Note: “Freeze” was from the other guy, who finally decided to talk.

What? Trigg bought a new Blackberry?

What? Trigg bought a new Blackberry?

What? Trigg bought a new Blackberry?

Ah, just take the picture already!

I no longer have any idea what’s going on here.

Sorry, I was stuck in a daydream

When I bought those jeans with my new ice creams

I still have no idea.

And I looked so good when I hit the scene

So fresh, so clean, all eyes on me

Better you than Jenna. Little attention whore.

Then I turned on my TV

What do I see? The Black Eyed Peas,

And Jay-Z, I just can’t believe they wore their jeans like me!

This jeans thing is contagious, man. First Jenna had it, then Triggy — soon this strange disease will be affecting the world! Hide yo’ kids! Hide yo’ wife!XD

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

Like me (me) (me) (me) (me) x4

She wore those jeans like me

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

OMG (oh oh oo-oh, oh oh oo-oh), OMG (oh oh oo-oh), she wore those jeans like me

Like me (me) (me) (me) (me) x4


-Gags- Anyway! That was "My Jeans" By Jenna Rose.

I did a bit of research on this girl; “My Jeans” was uploaded to YouTube in late 2010, but didn’t attract much attention until Rebecca Black became big news. The video currently has almost 10 million views, whereas “Friday” has 150 million.

Jenna has her own website, from which I learned some more about her. She’s been taking singing lessons since age 8 and acting nearly all her life. Her bio doesn’t mention who wrote “My Jeans”, but we do know it wasn’t her. Her resume is also on her website, from which I learned she was born in 1998, is 5’2 and weighs 88 pounds (so, yes, I was right; she’s too light to legally sit in the front passenger seat of a car, at least under state law of most places). As for her talent — I don’t know if she can act, but let’s just extrapolate from her performance in “My Jeans” and say she can’t.

But that’s not all for Jenna. The other song she’s gained notoriety for is called “O.M.G.”, and it’s… well, it’s terrible in an entirely different way from “My Jeans”. xD




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