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Alas, my life is chaos. the one I loved to the point that I would die for them threw me aside like I was nothing, I still have dreams about her, and when I awake I begin to cry as I come back to reality. My life as I knew it is completely changed. Yet I feel safe surrounded by darkness, My fear of darkness is gone, colds touch is starting to feel pleasant, I'm starting to get use to being alone.

The girl I loved now sits behind me in History, just to know she's close comforts me, and that reaction makes me angry at myself. I think about what went wrong when I'm in silence, and try to drown out my thought to stop hearing the My own voice. I will remember that what's done is done, and to leave it alone and don't regret it. It's just hard to, why is it so hard? Why won't drowning the pain in anything work, and make me wonder about myself?