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Alright, here's part two.
And don't worry, it doesn't end like this. Even if that's what it looks like. I still got another 2 parts to go. ^^
It's...not my best work, to say the least. I'll probably go back in and work on it some more later...
Stained-"Of Mistakes And A Serious Lack Of Communication-Part two"
With Alex still clinging to my arm in a death-grip, I fumbled with the key around my neck, attempting to get it in the lock. A few failed attempts and seven minutes later, and we were in.
I practically had to carry her to the couch. She looked exhausted, a small blush on her cheeks, eyes glazed over, sprawled out before me…But who was looking at those little details, anyways?
“Kuri…I’m feeling very hot.” She mumbled sleepily and drunkenly.
I felt the blood rush to my face, then mentally kicked myself for taking that the same way a hormonal teenager would.
I had a bad feeling rising up in the pit of my stomach. I had to get her sober, and quickly.
“Wait here. Don’t move, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, I ran upstairs, grabbed a washcloth, and turned up the sink water to full heat, all while ignoring how the scalding hot water was turning my hands a not-so-lovely shade of lobster red. This worked on Omoroi, why not Alex?
I closed my eyes, and got my hands used to the nearly-boiling water. It calmed me down for some reason; that sudden panic was fading. As soon as my heart rate went normal again, I grabbed the hot washcloth and started heading down the stair case…
…Only to have my heart rate double than what it was five minutes ago. I was surprised I didn’t launch myself into a heart attack.
So there she was, in my living room, stripping down to the point where she was wearing nothing but her birthday suit.
I dropped the washcloth like a hot anvil, and quickly turned away from the scene.
“What the hell are you doing?!” I nearly screamed to her.
“I told you, I was hot!”
“Well, why didn’t you turn on a fan or something?!”
“I don’t know! I just don’t know anymore!”
And with that, I heard a soft thump as she fell to the floor, a soft crying soon following.
Okay, decision time: Your best friend, or your pride?
Realizing I didn’t have much of that second option left anyways, I slowly turned around and kneeled down to her eye-level. Damn, I couldn’t deny this girl anything.
“Hey…What’s the matter, Alex?” I whispered to her, as she moved forward to clutch my shirt and rest her head on my chest.
“You…Why wouldn’t you look at me?” she sobbed.
Okay, Wake-up call. What did she just say?
Confused and a tad embarrassed, I said a little more loudly this time, “Look at you…? What do you mean…? I don’t understand…”
“Of course you do! You wouldn’t look at me! You would look at any other girl in the world, but you turn away from me…? Why?! I must really be ugly to you!”
I could feel my eyes go wide, and now I think I understood. She was comparing herself to the other girls I’ve been with. She had been even before she had even stepped into that bar, before tonight, before everything…Was that really why I was in this situation right now?
I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but her voice, just that one line, echoed in my ears.
“I must really be ugly to you!”
I gently took the sides of her face in my hands, and brought her up to look me in the eyes.
“Ugly? No, you’re most definitely the prettiest girl I’ve seen naked.” I chuckled.
“Then…why? I don’t understand…Why wouldn’t you look…?” She held my gaze, and this time, I could see everything. There was no shield anymore. Hurt, sad, confused, and Drunkenness. Lots of Drunkenness. I almost felt bad. She didn’t even realize what she was saying.
Now, I could’ve gathered up all of my manners and gentlemanly skills to explain to her about how it wouldn’t be right to look at her in such a revealing state of undress and submission. But the blood was currently conflicting whether to go north or south, and it apparently forgot that it still needed to go to my mouth. All I ended up spitting out was :
“Because I was afraid that I would…You…We would…”
I didn’t get the time to finish the pieces of the undeveloped thought. I felt her grip on my arms go limp, and she fell forwards, effectively knocking me over. I began to panic, What if she had too much alcohol in her system? Did she need to be hospitalized?
But then I heard her slow, even breathing, and felt her heartbeat slowly inching back to a healthy pace.
She was sleeping.
Rubbing my temples, I laughed a “Wow,-I-almost-got-seriously-screwed-over” laugh, took her into my arms, and carried her to my room.
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I have this…thing, you see. I like to watch girls sleep. I don’t really know why…but- exaggerations aside- I probably spent two hours studying her every feature from the shoulders up.
Occasionally, I’d gently trace her jawbone, her collarbone, and let my fingertips dip into the nape of her neck.
And the whole time, every fiber of my being was telling me to stop what I was doing and leave her alone.
And yet…I couldn’t bring myself to.
Every time I pulled away, she would moan in discontent and scoot just a little bit closer to me.
Now, explain to me: How do I say no to something like that? The actions were not without guilt, though. I know you probably think I’m a freak, but if it makes you feel any better, my conscious was screaming at me.
Stop that, stop that right now. You’re ruining her innocence. She would hate your guts if she was awake and half aware of what was going on here.
So I would pull away, embarrassed with myself.
And then I would see the look on her face, and I’d lose to myself all over again. I’m a sucker for things like that.
What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. That’s all I had.
It was about One o’ clock AM when I finally decided to get some sleep. But this time when I moved away, she did something different.
She let out a moan again, this time with a little more breath, and instead of her lips closing again, they were parted ever-so-slightly.
An idea struck me.
Oh no. Don’t you dare. Don’t you DARE, b*****d. How could you even think that? Haven’t you done enough?
She never has to know.
You’ll wake her, you idiot!
I won’t.
And what if you do?
The inner battle was raging, but I was still moving closer. I knelt down, so we were face to face, and quickly, gently, brushed my lips against hers.
I could’ve sworn that my heart had stopped for a moment.
And then it was over. I pulled my head back, dazed. And suddenly, I was tired. Too tired to be disgusted with myself. Too tired to keep my promise to go back downstairs and sleep on the couch.
I had lost. I knew that much. I had lost the moment she walked into that bar. Before that, even.
I closed my eyes, and hung my head for a moment, before I crawled under the covers, wrapped my arms around her waist, and succumbed to my exhaustion.
Maybe defeat isn’t THAT bad.
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