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evil_bri310's F-uped Journal Hi my name is bri, well that's my nick name. You try and figure out the rest. I doubt anyone will ever read this but oh well. I'm 14 and live in Florida. Yup the sunshine state with hurricanes and everything. I like rock, alternative, punk, ska, emo.


evil_bri310
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must kill band/orchestra director!!!!
Mr.W is such a jackass!!! His style of motivation is not working!! He's almost threatening us! We have to practice at least 2 hours a week because the jackasses in my class won't practice. And we have to get a signed slip by our parents saying that we did. This new violin player just got in our class and he's a freshmen. I am too but that's not the point. He's concert master and he's only been here for what...two weeks? Well that's how good he is. Dammit! At least we have one good violin player. My orchestra class is 2nd period. And when he yells at us for almost the whole period, we feel like s**t and we're all pissed off so that throws my day away! That just makes us not want to come into the room again. Some of the second violins don't even play! Just the people in the front do. First violins play but out of tune. Second violins are worse though. The new concert master, after class he said "hey first violins i was thinking about having a sectional at my house." I was like Woah! because that has never happened before. Everybody is busy except for me.lol. So i don't think that's going to happen. OH yeah! I got my braces off last week and today i got my retainer. It's really annoying but it's pretty. It's saphire blue and emerald. Yeah very pretty. crap it almost 9:30 i better practice my violin or get yelled at by Mr.Jackass again. stressed




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uhhh....yeah
OK. I am better now. I did yoga after my little outburst and I feel better. The feeling comes back now and then but not as big. I'm eating mango icecream. mmmmmmmmm...yummy.lol. i just woke up from my nap. Stupid sister and my mom were talking really loud. I hate it when they do that. Valentines day is coming up and i still don't have a boyfriend. Like always! That sort of makes me sad. cry sad oh well. maybe next year. crying I'm so bored. It's friday and i never do anything on friday! or saturday or sunday. It sucks. I have no life. Band and orchestra is my life. That is pretty sad. Valentines day sucks. You should have seen me last year. That was funny. I dressed up....... sort of. I wore black pants with valentine cards on them (hello kitty) and a light pink tee-shirt that said happy v-day on it in black permanent marker. Mmmm it smelled like that all day. I also drew black broken hearts on it. Just to let you know i have been labeled as goth by many people so i am defenitly not girly at all. Heck i don't wear makeup. Well that's mosty b/c my mom won't let me and it takes forever to take off. But on that day i handed out different kinds of chocolate. I'm probably going to do that again this year. The chocolate thing. I don't know what i'm going to wear this year. Probably black. haha. I might wear makeup this time. probably not. I'm hungry. This is a sweet emoticon ninja ninja ninja lol! i love ninjas. ha Ninjas are common and fight very often in public. I have a shirt that says that. OK well I'm going to do more pointless stuff so see you next time!



evil_bri310
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dev1



evil_bri310
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i hate this!!!!
I hate being mad at myself for everything that i do. Carefully inspecting everything i say and everything i do. Wishing i could be somebody else. Saying "there so cool i wish i could have their life!" I feel like somebody is breathing on my neck the whole time. Scolding myself. Yelling at myself " I should have done this better or i should have said this instead!" Thinking people are going to hate me for everything i do and say! Trying to be accepted and fulling my moms dream of who she wants me to be. Following tradition. God i hate this. Thinking i am the ugliest person alive. And when a guy likes me, i think to myself " why does he like me? What does he see in me?" Then pushing him away and being a b***h for self defense. Am i afraid of falling in love? I think a lot of people that doen't know me see me as a cold hearted b***h because i push them away! Why do i do this? I want friends that have the same interests as me! I want to be confident! I WANT TO BE MYSELF!!!!! but i don't know how.... i hate this. But most of all i don't want to be selfish. I don't want to think about me me me me me! SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!! i hope this is just a phase.




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first entry of my F-uped Journal
Wow this is special. My own journal. Yay stare . Fun. I'm extremely bored. I need motivation. I need inspiration. But those died a long time ago. My grades are slipping and so is my mind. My world is freezing over. Getting so tired....so tired...

Ok done with that. I think it's from the music i'm listenting to. It's by HIM- Close to the flame. I love that band. I need to get off of my lazy a**. I wonder if you can cuss on this site. Oh well. I really should do my homework. I have tons of history h/w. That class is so hard. I failed the exam but i won't get held back thank the lord. Jeez. Must get off of lazy a** but i can't. I have so much stuff i could do right now that is productive. But my legs won't let me. crying I'm getting lazier and lazier by the day. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet my dog ran away again. He always does that when i let him outside. The gate got blown down by the hurricane...uh... i forgot which one but he always goes in the front yard but eventually runs away. I'm going to go do something now. Probably not productive but oh well. bye for now! heart ya




evil_bri310
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dev1


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