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Throw these into every conversation you possibly can. People will look at your wierd, but at least they'll be they'll be thinking of you.





I would like to frolick in a field of poppies.



Is today pizza day? No? Damn...



I would like to roll on the ground possibly in hay. (But I'm allergic, so I may sneeze.)





That wood pile looks awfully brown. Maybe you should take a piss on it to liven things up.



My, my brain feels extra squishy today.



I wish I was a donut.



So does David Hasselhoff...



The king is dead.



Maybe...no...well yeah....well...nevermind...that won't work.



Negros Rule!



This is not what I expected to find here.



Fred



Speak with your diaphragm.



Hmmmmmmmmm?



I would like to try skydiving someday. If only I hadn't broken my back when I was three.



I ate that s**t a LONG time ago.



Perhaps som sugar in your water would make you happy?



Today is sweat day. Tomorrow is sweat pants day. See the difference?



Do you know what my middle name is?



I'll have seventeen large Diet Cokes.



Honk! Honk!



Oh s**t..I forgot my left pinky toe at home.



Something smells like Amanda.



Ready or not, here I come.



It's a leprechaun, a cute little leprechaun.



Ouch, what just bit me?



So, I was on the phone with my ex-boyfriend's college roomate's aunt's friend's son, and you'll never guess what he said.....



It's good for the soul.



Your dad shaves his back hair?



My knees shake when I do aerobics. Do yours?



Does dirt...oh yeah it does. I was gonna ask if it sticks to ugly peoples faces. But by the looks of you it apparently does.



My teddy bears name is Roosevelt



What? You eat squid s**t? That's not funny. Oh my God, you are so gross. No...Don't talk to me. Ahhhh....just leave me alone you sicko. Don't...don't tell me you didn't say that...I heard you say it...oh, now you're lying to me...don't you dare lie to me...I can't believe you anymore. Look, just leave me alone. STOP IT...STOP TELLING ME YOU DIDN"T SAY IT...I don't believe you....lalalala...I'm not listening blah, blah, blah, blah...shut up you nasty...what? Don't tell me to shut up you a*****e, you big a*****e. I hate you...don't talk to me ever again. My mom said not to do that. Do you know what comes after P? What? Did you just say poopy?



I eat hamburgers with my toes...no, I'm serious...I really do.

Pink is not my favorite color.