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Well for about a week, i had a boyfriend. I was happy for the first time in about 3 years. Well, of course, like everything good in my life, it had a short stop and a long drop. He decided that it wasn't working out and he "dumped" me a ripped out my heart of stone. Dwelling over the loss of my love, i began to cut my arm unmercifully. I would do it day after day until my entire left arm was encased in scars of everlasting pain. Then as it was full, i began to defile my right arm with more cuts deeper and longer. Slipping into depression, i didn't know how to deal with it. eventually i broke down and drie to my mother revealing my long time covered arms. The shock upon her face is something i can never forget as she asked me over and over again ."Why"?

I honestly didn't know how to answer her. It's not the easiest thing in the world for a 14 year old to tell her mother that she lost the love of her life and not be told "There are other fish in the sea" Well you know what mother, i had finally caught the best prize fish out there, and he slipped of my hook. I guess, im just not meant to be happy. Maybe.

I just started high school a little bit ago and it's ok but it's nothing like everyone said it would be. Every adult I know is always saying "Don't worry so much, High School was the funnest time of my life". Well today's schools are so much worse than they used to be. Friendships are lost and gained, but now there's betrayal, and rumors and so much worse bullying. It's horrible and if parents and adults only understood that maybe they'd think twice before just casually putting their kid's worries and needs aside and do something about it. It also doesn't help that the teacher's don't care at all about us, and if they do it's a rare thing. Someday maybe it'll be better, but I don't anticipate that happening any time soon.