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Last exams coming up, haven't studied that hard for them, but meh, I'm dropping out of this anyway. Hooray for communications next year! I really hope this is something I really like, or else I'll have a mayor problem =/
anywhoo. Nuff with the whining.
Still looking for a new place for my friend and me, but we're keeping low profile on that untill I have the job for sure. Next week (monday) the training starts! It's scary because I've never had a similair job. Let's vote on not ******** up domokun
Helpdesk isn't that easy I think. Heh. I can already see me getting all tonguetied and people getting pissed off at me XDD dutch bastards x3
Lots of things planned tomorrow (not that all teh planning is going to actually be done) first we start off with a nice long run (<3 on the music for that) and then some towning, maybe some financing (ugh), followed by a healthy lunch, going to the ikea to browse (BAD idea gonk ) and maybe some studying if I feel like it (like I mentioned before, not really needed) and then dinner, possibly with more friends coming over, watching movies.
So tired right now (duhr, 2.51 am)
not much of a rant, but meh, the real rants I delete afterwards anyways xd
 BWA CaeIon · Tue Jun 27, 2006 @ 01:52am · 1 Comments |
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Ja. Pessimisten zijn realisten? |
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deze hele wereld is naar de klote. Mode is klote, de muziek is s**t, de media liegt alles los en vast aan elkaar, normen en waarden zijn ver te zoeken. Zogenaamde leiders liegen alsof het gedrukt staan en zijn alleen maar bezig met manipuleren en hun eigen zakken aan het vullen. Mensen zijn zichzelf niet, dat zijn sommigen nooit geweest. Men waait maar met alle winden mee.
Je telt niet mee tenzij je stinkend rijk bent, een afstammeling daarvan of op zn minst VWO hebt gedaan plus nog een aantal dure na opleidingen.
Wat heeft het voor zin om een niet bestaand geluk na te streven en maar mee te drijven in deze zee van onzin? Mensen zijn egocentrisch en degene die dat het minst zijn laten elkaar alsog in de steek omdat ze te aardig zijn om mensen die ze nog enigszins mogen mee te sleuren in hun gedachtengang, doen en laten
Wat heeft het leven voor zin als het er toch op uit draait dat je terugkijkt en jezelf nog eens verteld hoe vervelend de wereld eigenlijk is? Heeft het wel zin om huisje boompje beestje te doen en kinderen op de wereld te zetten? Is dat eigenlijk niet alleen maar vreselijk ascociaal? Om nog meer mensen in een maatschappij te brengen die je eigenlijk verafschuwt?
Bestaat het utopia dan nergens meer?
BWA CaeIon · Sat Oct 29, 2005 @ 10:30am · 0 Comments |
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I just finished doing my laundry. I decided hanging it up in my room, because the balkony of my new flat smells really really bad. I cleaned the toilet yesterday but it still reaks like hell. I even found mould in the washing machine. IN THE FRIGGIN WASHINGMACHINE! How in the world did THAT get there? Is that even theoretically possible at ALL? I mean, the washingmachine is a place of cleanness and soap, detergent, softener and water. How can mould survive in a place like that?
gonk Where did I end up in?
BWA CaeIon · Sun Aug 14, 2005 @ 02:18pm · 1 Comments |
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Of course you do. Who am I to claim that feeling for myself? The feeling that you're worth nothing, that you love people more than they do you, that people misunderstand you, that you can't express your feelings properly?
What I feel most is that I feel like I'm useless. A useless fat pig. I keep telling myself that over and over again and that I don't deserve the people around me. That I keep hurting people with my big mouth, although I can't help myself from telling the truth or announcing my principles/morals out loud and clearly and condemn all those who don't agree with me.
I just don't know. I don't KNOW what I feel, I just know that I don't want to ever lose you (the few people who know who I'm talking about, you know. ), I only know that I HATE the way I am atm. and that there is nothing anyone can say to make me feel better about it.
Do you know the feeling that you just want to drown yourself in your own tears, that you want to hurt yourself because you hate yourself/it all so much, but that you're too scared to do it? Because someone will see and ask akward questions about it? That you hate yourself even more because you feel that you're a Coward? And you're scared? Of everything? And you keep asking yourself why? Then you hate yourself EVEN MORE when you think about all those people who live lives far far far worse than your own, but you can't stop feeling bad for yourself?
That you think you tell people way too much about yourself?
Do you know that feeling of unwanting, selfpitty and hatered of yourself?
and you KNOW you're going to regret this the moment you post it, because people will ALWAYS, ALWAYS ask akward questions or confront you with it. But still you secretly reach out for attention.
BWA CaeIon · Fri Jul 29, 2005 @ 12:00am · 0 Comments |
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Tears dwell, my love, in my eyes for you
Softly the tunes of my heartache I bring forth
A weariness I can't explain
Unsure is the humming under my breath
I can't explain
I won't explain, again.
Still my arms yearn for yours
but you are no longer in reach
Carry me
Hold me
For I am yours, kiss away my tears
Take away my unsureness
Blow away my fears, my love.
BWA CaeIon · Mon Jul 25, 2005 @ 11:55pm · 0 Comments |
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Cream crackers are f*cking addictive. No shite. It's a killing to have a open packet of em next to you while working on [insert some boring school project here].
mmm chocolate. I'm going to regret this.
Some people fall into these this-is-mentionable-to-the-whole-world situations all the ******** time and what am I stuck with? Cookie-cutter material junk that every teen/pre-adult goes through some point in time. Oh sure, I have great friends, love em to death, caring and cool parents, a little brother that doesn't give me too much of a hard time, a loving boyfriend I wouldn't give up for the world and all that, some people would be jealous because I have a happy and fairly regular life.
The thing is; I hate habits. I hate having to go through the same bloody week over and over and over again.
I'm not saying something bad should happen, hell no, but nothing ever happens. Social life? What's that? I can't even remember the last time I saw a bar on the inside.
all fine and dandy, I'm still a teen and even with nothing to nag about, I need something to hate. I need something to release all this frustration and anger out on.
It's what teens are made for.
BWA CaeIon · Sun Dec 05, 2004 @ 06:17pm · 1 Comments |
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Dear Journal,
msn sucks. It won't send any of my messages. I can't reach my contacts and/or my boyfriend this way.
It's like waving a pack of sigs in front of an addict who just gave up smoking. It's evil and I hate it. *kicks msn thingy*
Maths is evil too. Yush. 3nodding
BWA CaeIon · Sun Oct 10, 2004 @ 10:37pm · 1 Comments |
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