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The baby's finally here! Actually, she's one week old today, and we love her so much! She was born May 9th 2007 and weighed 7lbs 14.8 oz. She was 19 inches long. She had a touch of jaundice but other than that is very healthy. My recovery is comming along nicely but I hate these damn stitches! Waking up several times a night (or not sleeping at all) to feed, diaper and soothe a fussy baby isn't so bad but it's only her 4th night home so wish me luck. Of course, Ted is very proud of her and is a huge help! heart The three of us are as happy as we could be.

When I was younger I used to consider the news as a source of enlightenment, but these days I recognize it for the crap it is. All you ever hear about is Anna Nicole Smith, a woman who really wasn't all that interesting to begin with and now has been dead for months, The latest "shocking" thing that Britney Spears has done (once again, I really don't care) , or some other horrible stupid thing. Oh Yeah, and Iamos. Everybody's really looking way more into that than they should.

To be fair, they did have fair coverage of the Virginia Tech School Shooting. Of course, people would want to know of that happening and perhaps why it happened. But the media is going to whore it for all that it's worth as long as they can, probably farther hurting some of the victims in the process. When I go through a terrible traumatizing event, I want to grieve in peace, gradually recover as much as possible, and try to go on with my life. I wouldn't want to be reminded of it every time I turned on the freaking television. I also worry what's going to happen because of this shooting. Columbine alienated many people who were considered unpopular or unusual, because student and teacher alike had it in thier head that these were the kind of kids who kill people. This especially affected Goths becasue the media decided that these kids were Goth (They weren't!) and now kids can't even wear trench coats to school. The Virginia tech shooter was considered mentally unstable. So now, anybody with mental disorders are likely to be labled as potential murderers. This could give the government an excuse to lock up anybody who's ideas they didn't like by saying they are mentally unstable and may be a danger to themselves or others. Oh wait, they already do that. But alas, it's probably going to get worse....It'll be like the Communist Scare of the 50's.

Now back to Iamus: He called some female basketball players from some college "nappy headed hoes" and he was fired because it was supossedly a racist comment. I'm not saying the guys not racist, or that there was nothing wrong with the comment he made, but Jesus! What happened to freedom of speech? In the words of Voltaire: "I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" Just a fact: White People can have nappy hair and be hoes as well. Another thing that bothers me on this: There's such a double standard of racism and that's ******** up. Never mind what minorites say about one another. What about what they are allowed to say about white people? Dave Chapelle said that White People don't use washclothes. (WTF?!) I understand it was just part of his comedy, but what if a white person were to say that about a black person? They'd be crucified for it! He also had a sketch once where he pushed a white baby down a flight of stairs. Maybe I'm a little sensetive about this being pregnant and all, but that's just not funny no matter what color the baby is. Once these two black kids were talking s**t about a Middle Eastern girl in school saying that she was probably a terrorist just because she's of middle eastern decent. I turned around and called the two guys racist assholes and they called me racist just because I'm white and I dared to say something to a black person. I'm not racist. I just don't like hypocrites or close minded assholes, regaurdless of race, religion, or any other quality. Farthering this I would like to say: I'm white. Yes that's right. And I'm proud of my heiratige. *Gasp* Call me a racist for it if you want but I don't see what's wrong with being proud of my heiratige. You know what? I never owned any slaves, and honestly, neither did my anceastors. They didn't even immigrate to America until the early 20th century. I'm not racist but I do call it as I see it. And I'm not going to give anybody special treatment or kiss anybody's a** based on race. In my oppinion that's racist. I wish the rest of the country was a little more enlightened on that but sadly the majority is not nor will ever be because they're just stupid.....*Sigh*

Well, I think that's enough ranting for now. It's probably not healthy for me to be getting so worked up so close to the end of my pregnancy. If you read this rant, leave me a comment and let me know what you think, whether you agree with me or not. I will respect your opinion as long as you respect mine. So to all my adoring fans, O yasumi.....

We had the baby shower last Saturday. It was fun, I guess. We got more baby stuff than we know what to do with. We have a Lamaze class in a couple of weeks. That'll be interesting....

I've updated my profile on my birthday (March 21st) and added a cooler background and stuff. I'm currently sitting at 15,000 gold. That's still not enough to buy a single item I want though. *sigh*

God, I love Ted! Yesterday was our One Year Anniversary. Our life together is wonderful. We've talked about a lot of things over the past few days and I can honestly say that the few remaining insecurities that I did have are gone now. OF course I still feel upset, hurt, or needy from time to time. Everybody does. That's normal. But I am a better and happier person than I was this time last year, or even 6 months ago. And that's because I have Ted by my side. He has made me a better person and I hope I've done the same for him. He too seems overall happier now than he once was so I'd like to think that I have.

Very very busy over the next couple of months, my birthday, baby shower, doctors apointment, lamaze class, baby.....lots of stuff. Oboy....It's going to be exhausting I'm sure but It'll all be worth it.

It seems that life couldn't get much better. And yet somehow I feel that it's going to. And I'm ready for it this time.

had to try it....plus i get gold for posting so where could I go wrong?


1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.


What does next year have in store for me?
Love Song-The Cure

What does your love life look like?
Pagan Poetry-Bjork heart

What do I say when life gets hard?
Sweet Dreams-Eurythimics (lol)

What do I think of when I get up in the morning?
Christine-Siouxie and the Banshees

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Bohemian Rhapsody-Queen xd

What do I want to do for my career?
Schism-Tool

Your Favorite saying?
Birthday-The Sugarcubes

Favorite place?
Good Enough-Evanescence

What do you think of your parents?
I am the walrus-The Beatles (huh?)

Where would you go on a first date?
I bleed-The Pixies

Drug of choice?
Ghost of a Rose-Blackmore's Night (sounds like a mixed drink. lol)

Describe yourself.
Amerika-Ramstein

What is the thing I like doing most?
Words on Paper-Dear Eden

The song that best describes the president?
It Can't rain all the time-Jane Siberry (Then hurry up and get him out of office! )

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
This is the new s**t-Marilyn Manson

How will I die?
That Joke isn't funny anymore-The Smiths

Song they'll play at your funeral?
Let's go to bed-The Cure (lmao xd )

What song will you put as the subject?
Masters of War-Bob Dylan

It's so stupid to let little things piss you off. I know that. And yet I still get pissed when people try to tell me that I am or am not something when they don't know me. It doesn't help that I'm pregnant so I have ******** horomones going every which way. Today some stupid little kid on the internet suggested that I'm lying about being pregnant that just aggrevated the hell out of me. It shouldn't, I know, but ********. I've gained 20 pounds in the past 7 months, I have to pee almost constantly, I can't sleep because I have rls and a baby who loves to kick just as I'm laying down to go to bed. DONT TELL ME I"M NOT PREGNANT BECASE I KNOW YOU"RE FULL OF s**t! Well, I feel a little better. I just needed to rant a bit, I supose. I'll probably delete this later anyway.

I finally got a shadow spirit! Hooray! I'm so happy! Unfortunately I'm now down to only 154 gold. *sigh* Donations anyone? heart

I haven't always exactly been what you would call stable. Hell, let's be honest. I'm still not entirely there. But over the past year in particular I've done a lot of growing up, realized what's important to me and finally began dealing with issues that before I refused to even admit they were there. I have Ted to thank for that. I love him so much. All the problems that we have went through together, I feel that we've both come out of it stronger people. And over the past several months things have begun to look up.

Here's what's going on in my life in general right now if anyone cares to know:

I'm 29 weeks pregnant now. Our little girl is going to be here in no time. She's very active, kicking all the time, especially when there's music on, or her daddy talks to her. Ted and I are both so very excited.

I have to brag on Ted! This was our first valentines day and I got showered with all sorts of gifts. A cute bag, 3 different kinds of incence, An adorable little monkey stuffed animal that was wearing chili pepper boxers and holding a baloon, and a huge a** box of chocolate truffles. March 15th will be our one year aniversary. So much has happened since then but it's been really fun and I love him more and more each day. He also got a new job recently. A very good one. He stated today. He'll have less time off than with his old job. I know I'm going to miss him terribly every day. I just hope I don't start labor while he's at work. xd

I myself am just at home most of the time. I keep myself amused with household chores, music, books, internet and other such wonderful things. I've been in one of my anti social moods lately so if you call and I don't call you back that's probably why. I started writing a novel. Finished the prolouge today. It only has 11 pages so far.

Well, that's about it. I was really just posting this for the gold anyway. But if you care, go ahead and leave a comment. heart