I've decided to write a book about my son's life, as seen through my eyes. Most of this won't make a lot of sense since I'm not good at chronological order, but I'll go through it and see what sense I can make of it.
No comments on this post please, and thank you.
No looking for pity, etc, just writing down what he has been through.. To help me cope, and so that some day he will understand why things are the way they are.
May contain some 'adult' content
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Elijah Jordan
Conception
I remember the day of conception. I remember the exact moment, the exact breath.. The day that changed everything, and showed me my place in Old Man's world.
I had left mother's house a few days ago, to stay with Old Man for awhile. We had been getting along good again and it was nice being in his embrace. We had just finished eating some canned pasta and laid down to cuddle. I wasn't allowed to make any noise that day, The Boss was watching us and didn't want me there. Old Man had lived in The Boss' work building for awhile now.
I woke up, likely around midnight or so. It was dark, and The Jackson Five Cats were scattered through the tiny flat. My head was splitting, I couldn't see, could hardly hear.. I started crying and rolled off to bed and hit the floor. Radio cat shifted and moved from her hiding place, behind the radio. Old Man scowled, he had work in the morning and I was disturbing his sleep.
I cried, my body seized. I couldn't get up off the floor and could hardly ask for any help. Old Man rolled over and went back to sleep. I crawled my way out into the livingroom and onto the couch. My Sunny Bunny cat was on the couch; it was raining out and he didn't want to get wet. The window screen had been removed some time ago to let the cats in and out as the pleased. The window was cracked open so they could pass though.
The rain came through the opening, making the couch wet and cold. I shivered and cuddle up with Sonny and my blanket of the night - a small couch pillow. It was a long, cold, night.
Cats came and went. Sunny would leave, and Nacho would come. Nacho would leave and Fluffy would come. The Jackson Fives roamed in and out of the house, each taking turns cuddling with me through the night.
I woke the next day not feeling any better. I still couldn't get off the couch but Old Man had to head off to work. He didn't have any food in the house other than canned goods I couldn't reach so I went back to sleep until he came home later that night. Now my head was still pounding, my back was sore, I felt like I was dying.
He drew me a warm bath and washed my hair and back for me. We soaked as the kitties played with the bubbles. The bath ended as I stumbled off to bed, he followed with some grapes and strawberries to eat. I slept as he cuddled with me through the night.
The following morning, I woke with Fluffy planted right on my face.
The headache and pains lasted and lasted for what seemed like years, and was only weeks. The pain spread into my spine, trickled down into my kidneys. The pain became so severe that I could no longer walk without help.
Old Man brought me to Planned Parenthood. The lady there had me do a pregnancy test, and then sent me to a small, quiet, room for me to wait for her. She came in, closed the door and sat down.
She told me I was suffering from an Ectopic Pregnancy, which means my baby was trapped and likely already dead, and killing me in the process. We spoke for a few moments, and she sent me to another room to get checked out. I could hardly handle the pressure of the lady pressing on me as she checked me and confirmed that she believed I was having an Ectopic Pregnancy as well.
I was shaken, scared, and didn't even know what to think or do. I went back out into the waiting room and told Old Man what the ladies had said. He was furious that they didn't allow him in the room, and just as scared as I was that our baby was dead.
We got back in the car and left, heading down Van Dyke and discussing what to do. The ladies told me to go to the ER, and so we did. The wait was quick as I was in screaming pain, and the doctors weren't sure if I was having an Ectopic Pregnancy or not.
They brought me in for our first Ultrasound and discovered the tiny being inside of me...alive, and doing well. I was 4 weeks pregnant, and not doing well myself. The Ultrasound lady didn't know what was wrong, and said it was just morning sickness. She pressed around on my belly a few times too many, and I ended up filling up several vomit cups.
She sent me back to my room to wait for final results, and the doctor came in and said I was clear to go. Drink more water and rest, and be happy! A baby was coming. We were shaken, scared. The nurse still hadn't came in to take my IV out and I was getting very weak and hungry. Old Man left and called to every nurse in his sight until one of them came and took the IVs out.
Finally, we could relax...But I still couldn't walk on my own...
Jaded Sunset Community Member 
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