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Hellsing-corps.
Hellsing: Why We're Right and You're a Dumbass
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1. Alucard

a. His name is Arucard or Arkard, not Alucard!

The Japanese have a well-documented problem with distinguishing between the "L" and "R" sounds, as the former apparently does not exist in their language. As a result, most names/words that require the use of the "L" sound may end up sounding as if they have "R" in them. A notable example of this problem is FLCL, which has been called both Furi Kuri and Fooly Cooly.

In addition, any fool with a brain will realize the character's name is "Alucard," which is quite obviously the direct reverse of the name "Dracula." For the unintelligent readers, I'll explain why it is not "Arucard" in a simple step by step process.

1. Dracula is clearly the most well known vampire of all time.
2. Dracura is not the name of the most well known vampire of all time. It also sounds piss stupid.
3. Hellsing is an anime about vampires.
4. The main protagonist of Hellsing is a very strong vampire.

Given these, you can either correctly believe the name of the main protagonist in a vampire anime is "Alucard," the reverse of the name of the greatest vampire ever, or you can believe it is "Arucard," a name coincidentally ONE LETTER AWAY FROM THE REVERSE OF THE NAME OF THE GREATEST VAMPIRE EVER. Don't be a moron.

"Arkard" is clearly a bastardized version of "Arucard" and isn't even worth discussing.

b. Alucard is not Dracula, but the son of Dracula.

Looking up the origins of the word "Alucard" in Google reveals that, before Hellsing, it primarily existed in three places.

1. The SNES game Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, where Alucard is the name of Dracula's half human, half vampire son.
2. The 1940's film Son of Dracula, where Dracula's son "Count Alucard" is played by Lou Chaney Jr.
3. A shitload of goth sites with skinny white kids wearing too much makeup.

Given the name Alucard apparently has a history of being associated with the role of "Dracula's Son," this conclusion has a little more credibility. Sadly, that doesn't make it any less wrong. The fact that a name has been assigned to a certain role in one or two works doesn't mean it must always be associated with that role.

Let's take a look at a similar train of thought. In the movie Bram Stoker's Dracula, Dracula signs one of his letters as "D." Vampire Hunter D's name is also "D." Therefore Vampire Hunter D is Dracula.
Vampire Hunter D is not Dracula. If you now intend to email me claiming he is, don't bother. You're a moron.

Alucard, however, IS Dracula. Here's why.

Hellsing Stuff:

1. There is a flashback to Alucard in the past, when he has a thick beard/mustache and looks pretty damn psychotic.
2. Alucard impales Incognito.
3. Alucard is most assuredly a full vampire.

Dracula Stuff:

1. Dracula is based off a man known historically as Vlad the IMPALER.
2. Most pictures of Vlad the Impaler portray him as having a beard/mustache.
3. He tortured families and dipped his bread in their blood. He is clearly a psychotic ********.
4. Dracula is most assuredly a full vampire.

Conclusions:

1. Alucard is Dracula, or Vlad the Impaler.
2. Anyone who cannot see the obviousness of this, or believes we do not see the obviousness of this, is fooling him/herself.

c. Alucard is not genetically engineered.

This one is really very ambiguous. However, I'd still maintain he's been modified in some way from his original form, because I sure as hell don't remember vampires being able to regenerate from being puddles of blood.

2. General Hellsing

a. An important aspect of Hellsing is its interesting character development. (Or: "You call the character Fergusson 'The General Who's Name Doesn't Even Matter' which is obscene, because he is the only Human who Celes Victoria actually seems to care about." wink

Apparently some people suffer from the misconception that Hellsing is about inter-character relationships. This is clearly wrong; Hellsing is about badass vampires/superhumans killing each other with knives, guns, and other various tools for causing pain. It is an excellent example of style over substance, and any failure to realize this completely defeats the purpose of the anime. Hellsing is not intended to make the audience cry or feel any sort of deep emotion; there are other shows designed for that s**t, none of which, astoundingly enough, can be found in the "Gothic/Action/Horror" category. If you find yourself actually touched by the death of that guy with the mustache (whose name, of course, doesn't even matter), you should probably seek help, because you've become emotionally involved in an action show. This is like crying when that Mouse dude gets shot to hell in The Matrix.





RAEP TIME
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RAEP TIME
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