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I love holidays, really, I do.

Filled with chocolates, fattening items, and all sorts of family affairs meant to piss me off.

I need to get out of here. Living in the middle of nowhere and hating it.

I just need to get away from my family and live life on my own for a little while, just so I can get the feel of who I am, not who they want me to be.

Thank God I only have a few more months left before I'm free.

Well, I'm pissed again, but this time I know why.

Ria, a bit of a ghost that haunts me, discovered five portals open with nasty spirits coming out that I have to close, with five of my good friends. Too bad two of them are in completely different states, and they're two of the stronger ones in the entire group.

Life has officially gotten complicated, because on top of that, the computer with all my preparations for AMI is trying to shut down, and all data hasn't been recorded.

I really need some help surviving this, and I suspect none is going to come.

Still not knowing why either. Though I suspect the coming onset of horomones is in no way helping the moodiness caused by extreme stress that is inclined to occur with such events as are coming up.

Mom is talking about visiting one of the colleges I want to look at. About bloody time. Now that just leaves ten thousand scholarship things to hunt down and fill out in a maze of confusion.

ROTC is piling a ton of last minute things on for AMI... and no one is getting the hints. I'm going to kill a number of people for this crap.

Let's not forget Christmas shopping either. That's gotta get done. I think everyone is going to get some nice chocolates from the chocolate company though.. just because I DON'T HAVE TIME.

Frankly, I lost all motivation to write as of now, and that's pissing me off too.

So, what do I have to sum up my life. A cat. How darling. Life is s**t right now.

Ah, the second entry of this journal, which means I haven't forgotten it yet.

Perhaps I should go write in my Diaryland journal, but that thing is bloody confusing as it is. Ah well, life goes on, and I can always return if I wish.

Speaking of wish, I wish to write, but no inspiration comes as of yet. Anything in particular angering me that would block all pleasant inspirings? Mom... but that always happens. College apps? That's almost done...

Lack of enthusiasm towards anything lately? Could be. Don't know just yet why that is. Need to get to the bottom of it. Now watch. I'm going to write in my real journal and the answer is going to come to me.

Doesn't life always work that way??

Ahh, a first posting of my usual twisted journal an diary entries that are never consistent, but can be rediscovered at any random moment.

Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing. Either way, I prefer to think of it as merely a shift or pattern of my life. Things get busy, I ignore my own thoughts in sacrifice to society. Things become more relaxed, I release all my frustrations, joy, etc. into a realm where I can reflect on them further.

So, welcome to my world.