It's strange how there are so many aspects of myself and my life that I don't understand. It's not that I feel like I'm making bad choices or anything, it's more that I can't figure myself out.
Last year, if I could go a day without feeling sick about something or wanting to cry, I was doing well. I didn't leave my house unless I had to because the farther away from my family I was, the worse I felt. I had days where I'd just sit in my room, skipping meals and avoiding contact with anyone.
The part of all this that I don't understand is that I had no real reason to be that sad. My family is supportive of me and I have two wonderful friends in real life, several more online. I used to tell that to myself over and over when I was having a particularly bad day, but frequently, it didn't help.
I'm doing much better now overall. I haven't had so many problems since, oh, I think it was late April. I don't hide away in my cave-like room all the time anymore, though I still stay close to home. I think it's because I know more of what to expect if I'm at home. Fewer surprises seem to lower my stress level. I'll try to keep it that way for now.
I'm just so confused....
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My Mind Jumps Around A Lot...
Just writing whatever comes to mind. It'll be sporadic too, because I know I can't keep this this regular, despite the fact I'd like to.
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