Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
In regaurds to this, I have decided to tell my story. Some of you may already have heard it, but I feel it needs to be told to others. Only a few months ago, I was in a loving relationship with my new boyfriend, who we'll call 'M.' He was a Christian, it made no difference to me, as I was raised going to a Christian church. Our relationship was anything I could've hoped for, the dream romance...until I discovered I was bisexual. Now, me and M had mad a promise that we would keep no secrets from eachother, no matter how big. So, I decided I needed to tell him. I felt guilty until I did end up telling him. When I did tell him, it made me feel even worse. In the instant I told him, all his feelings for me were erased. I was now an abomination of god. He would threaten to kill me unless I "became" straight again. He would throw rocks at me. Call me the usual deragatory names...I was helpless to do anything. I didn't even trust my own friends any more...I was afraid that if I told anyone, it would get back to my uncle and grandma (who I live with) and I would be put into a foster home. So, I went through the torment, the pain, and the feeling of knowing someone I loved thought of me as a monster...Eventually he did stop with the threats, the name calling, the rock throwing...he just flat out stopped talking to me. We haven't talked since. My uncle and grandma still have no idea. I have had two girlfriends since this incident...And my friends now know, and they understand completely. (Thank you so much Anna and Dei, it was more than I ever could've asked from you.) And, i'm now mostly out of the closet... I'm sharing my story in hopes that other people who have gone through this, or are going through this, understand that they are not alone. And, to anyone who may be on the opposite side, in M's situation. I hope you read this and understand...everything leaves scars, some deeper than others...I still have scars from that time in my life, and they'll probably never go away...
Anyone can feel free to talk to me at any time about any problems they might have. Even if they're not related to this. I can help you with anything. Just PM me. I'm here to help.
Dying_the_Roses_Black · Mon Aug 04, 2008 @ 07:58am · 0 Comments |