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You will never believe what happened to me this morning! I was waking up and doing my morning routine, eat breakfast, take a shower, brush my teeth, that sort of thing. When I was about to get changed, when i noticed something, my wallet. Missing! And there he was, the thief himself scrambling down a ladder from my window!

Just as soon as he knew I saw him he started climbing down the ladder and I ran for the door outside. On my way out I grabbed the bat I keep under my bed. When I got outside I saw him running down my block and I began chasing after him. We ran for nearly 10 minutes and reached some woods. Then from there we ran another 15 until I lost sight of him.

Lost, in the middle of the woods, chasing an elusive thief. I knew something like this could only happen to me.

The search seemed over when a bit deeper in the woods I heard the guy scream. I ran out there and saw him sitting on the ground a good distance away from me. As I got closer I could see he had gotten his foot stuck in a branch! Actually I’m not so sure it was a branch maybe a hole or something but you get the point. I walked up to him with my bat and said the sweetest one liner I could think up on the spot.

“Game over ********” and I hit him in the face with my bat. He began to sob a bit as he held his bleeding nose, but to my surprise he began to laugh. This startled me so I hit him again and said “what’s funny f*****t!?” and he said, “read the first word of all the last paragraphs.”