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So, I've been writing in my real journal again, did that a lot today, and I have already said just a lot of what's on my mind. Or at least a lot of the stuff that I could have put in here if I hadn't already said it all. Most of the pressing stuff I have left I can't tell you fokes. Nothing against you, it's just not my news, and I don't think certain friends of mine want me telling all of you what's screwing up their lives. Sorry.

But yeah, I still want to write. Dunno why, just do. But here's some good news: I got my portfolio done. And it looks hella good, too. I suppose that if you're not from around here, or the area, or in schools that require portfolios, you prolly don't care/know what I'm talking about. But to those of you who are, and have done it, or have been putting it off (*cough* SCOTT *cough*), you prolly know what I'm talking about. But even though I was two days late (they really don't care, trust me), I got it in. And it looks nice. So guess what that means. I've done just about everything for my culminating project except for the final speech. But I passed the practice speach, so the final should be just fine. I'm actually a good public speaker. I mean, I've had enough experience. You don't get to be one of the leaders in four different clubs (we're gonna include water polo as a club now) if you can't talk to people. Not to mention I've had plenty of chances to get in front of people and give a speach, teach a lesson, or present on a subject. It's just easy for me. Yeah, I'm a little nervous that I'll mess things up, because there's always the chance, but not so nervous that I forget my lines or skip something important. So I'm just about done, aren't I?

It's a nice relief. But today was the last WASL day and tomorrow we go back to regular school. All six classes >.< That sucks. Worse is we have another morning practice. Fun times, eh? And I have to read for gov and do my math. Math is easy, I could do it in class, prolly will. I'll read during first period maybe. I did my science in class and already turned it in. Easy stuff, that was. It's so nice having all the senior crap done, because the preasure's gone. It just lifted and flew away. Now if I could just keep up with the demanding schedual of water polo...

I'm back to having 12 hour school days. That's half of the day. Because of 5 am practice, then school, then two hours after school. If you add in all the time to change and get ready to go it's 12 hours. then of course I come home and do chores, like today it's laundry and the upstairs living room. Patricia and I switched chores. She's now in charge of the kitchen because it's not dusty like the living room. Because of her alergies it's better for her. I'm so glad she finally gets to learn just how much work it is to keep it up. She hasn't taken the trash out in four days... isn't that sick? Mom's going to yell at her so bad tonight. ^_^ I suppose I shouldn't be taking pleasure in this. It's not the nice thing to do. But hey, Patricia and I fight a lot. We don't get along, she's constantly bugging me and I personally think that most of the time she acts like a stupid moron. Way back when, many of these fights included me saying "You can't even spend five minutes to pick up the living room!" (that's really all it takes unless you're going to vacume, which I'll prolly do tonight.) And she'll be like "Well, the kitchens not done!" And I'd be like "At least I worked on it for half an hour!" (which I did, and it's a harder chore. No one helps our around the house. Is it really that hard to rince out a spagettii bowl? Or a milk glass? Or to not leave food on the counters? Apparently.) Now she gets a taste of that. You can't be lazy with that chore because it screws everyone else up. We can push around a few dog toys on the living room floor, or a towel or two when Patricia lazily leaves them in there. Dust on the floor won't stop you from sitting on the couch, and if there's clothes on it you can just push them aside. Living room is easy to be lazy in. (for the record, I do pick it up daily. A simple five minute sweap at least, it keeps it decent.) Patricia used to get by on the fact that a messy living room didn't mean much. A messy kitchen does. It means we're out of spoons and can't have cerial, or the counters are cluttered and I can't slice that cheese I wanted (I'm gonna make a cheese sandwitch soon... sounds yummy). I've rambled about this for awhile now... but I didn't put it in my journal, so I found a topic, eh?

Oh, I did put this in my journal but I can repeat it. So we played the really hard team in our league today. You know the one, no other team has stopped them from scoring at least 20 points against them. That evil team that will outswim you, even though they don't really play well other than that. We lost, of course, but only 17 to 1. I know, it's flipping 17 to 1. how can that be "only"? Well, because it's the best any teams in our league has done against them yet, and I was responsible for that one shot. No, I did not shoot it. I wasn't playing close enough to the goal. I was playing top. (water polo stuff, you don't need to know it.) Anywho, they were fronting our hole, but they were doing it at the five meter, and I was out almost at half pool, far too high up, but slowing treading in. But there was only one thing to do with the ball because my bright team mates weren't moving around to make themself avalible. When the hole's being fronted that high up there's room behind it where if the ball's thrown just right the defender can't do anything but go over our man, which is a kick out or four meter. I got the ball right there, and it was a four meter (penalty shot) and Zeiger scored. Go us. Yes, it was her shot, but I set it up. None of the other girls on the team were setting the ball right, but I did. Even though I was exghausted the whole time I was in (not a swimmer fokes, I played goalie for three years. I know how to tread. Not swim) I did okay.

What next? I dunno. I suppose I'll take my small victories when I can. Did you know that some of the radio stations play the best music at 4:30 in the morning? If you're ever up that early maybe turn one on. The local station around here is KGRG, it's a punk rock thing located at a community college not too far away, but anywho, they play all my favorites that early and there's hardly a commertial or DJ to bugger things up. So to make up for my having to wake up so bloody early, at least there's music to make me feel better. Except today, the music kinda sucked. But I didn't leave until 5:20 because practice started later because of our game against Curtis. But tomorrow Mark (assistant coach) said we was gonna work us like none other so that we were sore over the weekend. Sometimes I really don't like him. My abs are already screaming from all the work we've done this week. Might I just say now that if I don't have a flipping six pack by the end of water polo I'm going to be pissed. I hurt so bad right now, SITTING DOWN, that it better be worth something.

Oh, the AFK's going up in value! Kinda! Yay! I'm thinking if I hold out long enough I can get my wish list. In case you love me a whole lot why don't you help me out! wink WISHLIST:

JU 03 gloves
JU 03 shoes
JU 03 Shirt
2 chain wallets

if you give me all of that and some gold I'll give you my AFK. wink wink Granted, I don't think the AFK's worth that and gold yet... but hmm... *does math* let's say the gloves/shoes are 100k each, then the shirt is 250k (no idea on that one), then the chain wallets are 180k each... we get... 810k? I dunno, did it in my head. It looks about right. Yeah, don't think the AFK's quite there yet. I made this really bad trade way long time ago, which if I had been smart I wouldn't have had to go through all of this to get what I want. But no, I screwed up, lost my leverage, and have to work my way back up to those items. But honestly, once I get them, I'll be happy. Like, with Auliro right now I love her outfit, I'm good. Luki just needs her wallet back, and my mules is what the JU stuff is for. (Oh, I also like paper bags. I want a set.) I have all the outfits chosen out just waiting to happen. And I'll cling tight to the AFK until it does. So donations are good. (I'm joking, of course, but I will take them. Actually now that I think about it there might be a person or two that I'd turn down. One for sure. Guess I'm not too far into Gaia if I'd be willing to turn someone down.)

I want a big stuffed bear from the east coast. And it needs to be soft. It needs to be from the east coast because I have two teddy bears that friends brought back from me from the east coast, so to have a few more would be cool. I could start a collection. Anywho, I want a big bear because it would be nice to hug something sometimes. Like right now, I just want to think, but I'd like to hug something for some reason. Dunno why. A pillow would work, but it wouldn't be fat enough. *shrugs* oh, and I have to plan out Maude's garage sale, too. Need to call the news paper. And I need to call Cheese's mom. I'll do that once I log off. Plus I need to vacume the upstairs (said that already) before 8, and sweep the bathroom. Then if I do my homework in the morning I can watch Survivor with Tim (assuming he's not playing poker) and get to bed at 9. Up at 4:30 and we do it all again. That's why I haven't written in awhile. I've wanted to, but I haven't had time. I'm actually putting off homework/sleep time to do this. Which is bad, but in my mind worth it. I know I could spend my time more productively, but to me this helps. It just helps me to write things out, clear my head, know that it's down on paper (or pixels). It helps me sleep better sometimes, or just feel better. And I have a hard time sleeping when I'm stressed, so anything helps.

Gah, Tuesday was a b***h. I was stressed on Tuesday. Not going into details but I can throw that out there. There was a lot of banana ice cream eaten that night. (and it had chocolate chunks, not chips, in it. MMMMMM my god it was good.) And my foots asleep... ouch.

I sent my host family a letter, that's good. Got notes out to all of my campers, it's in their court now. And finally wrote an e-mail I'd been meaning to. I think that was last Monday because I was over at Maude's and she was sleeping and I was having trouble with the comp. Right after I wrote my last entry. Those were also pressing things that I had to deal with. But my host family has pics now. I sent them my copy of the varsity water polo team, because it was a clearer picture of me. It was my favorite of the two I had though, so I'm going to try to get another copy. But I figured, if I liked it, they would too. So it was worth it. I also sent my senior pics to them. ^_^ So they should be happy. I'm offically broke, different topic, but still important. I spent the last of my money paying for polo shirts and sweaters. I'm working on a job though, actually have to call tomorrow to try to set up an interview. *big breath* wish me luck? I need it, really bad. Sure, it's Taco Bell, but hey, it pays. Unless you have a better idea for me no complaints. Chelsea is gonna help me because she works there, even though she got a new job at Olive Gaurden (Go Cheese! *happy dance*) she hates working at Taco Bell anyway.

Ug. Might I say now that I know I'm a good friend. I mean, I've always known, but I question myself a lot. Wonder if i'm wrong, if I've screwed up, if I could do more or I complain to much or am too self centered, because it's all possible. Hell, some of it may be true. But I'm still a good friend. And I don't always need to be the one talking or the one in crises. I can be the one on the side lines helping out and giving support, or just listening to problems in someone else's life. I don't need to say nothing, just the right thing, and let them know that even if they do something stupid I'll still be there to help them out. It kind of feels nice knowing that I can help someone out if they need it. Unfortunately I can't do everything, though. I can't make their desisions for them, or say too much if they're doing something stupid. I have to lay back and let them do things themselves. That's life. They have to be able to make their own mistakes, I'd sure as hell want to make mine. I'm just going to be here once things fall through.

There's enough of that, though. A cheese sandwitch really sounds good right now. Like I'm craving it. Maude said if I ever get pregnant I should crave bananas and cheese all the time, because then it wouldn't be any different from regular life. I told her I should crave ice like one of my old baby sitters did. That way I could just knaw on ice all day. Which would be weird, but better than pickle banana sundays. Not that I know anyone who ate a pickle banana sunday, but it sounds like something a pregnant lady would want. Granted, I don't have any intentions on becoming pregnant, and at the moment it seems quite impossible, but hey, it could happen one day. Maybe I'll crave berries and rasens. I don't like berries or rasins so it would be really weird. I'm sure I could come up with some foul sounding concoctions that would be a horror to crave, but I'll save that for later.

I smell like chlorine again. I need a shower. But I don't have time for one tonight. If I stop writing then I have to do chores, then I have to do homework if I have time, then Survivor's on, then bed. At least I'll have time to take one after practice tomorrow. But I have to find my rasor so that I can shave. Which you prolly don't need to know, but I wrote it so I'll just leave it there. My secret pall gave me lotion, I think I'll use it. My skin's so dry so it should be nice.

Oh, my secret pal liked her gift! Yay! I left it out on the rail outside the locker room when no one was looking, and she came out with some friends and saw it and just thought it was really cool. ^_^ I did good. Woot. (>^.^)> <(^.^< wink (>^.^)> <(^.^< wink kirby happy dance. I think that's how I'm going to sign my next note to her. I type everything because I have a distinct handwriting that's easy to recognize, so they won't know it's me when I type. I gave her this cheap cute green bead necklace because her favorite color's green, a flavered water botle because she likes it, and a bar of soap that looks like a duck, because it's cute. Come now, wouldn't duck soap be cute? I have one for me, too, because I think it kicks a**. ^_^ Go duckies! I also have this duck flower thing that was cute that I like. I'm not particularily fond of ducks, don't get that impression, they just had some cute things. Granted Helena (the girl I'm giving stuff to) asked for a fierce animal, so I'll have to find something like that for next time, but a duck works for now.

Gah, I should go. I need to eat before chores and it's getting late. Yes, I have an hour and 20 minutes, but time flies. *huggles everyone* Thanks for reading!

Aul