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You might not understand this, but I do so I put this here so I wouldn't lose it. Enjoy if you want.




Tucker: Let me get this straight… you’re telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living s**t out of us, shot at Caboose and beat the hell out of the reds wasn’t a guy at all? That he was a chick? And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?

Church: In a nutshell, yes. That’s an excellent summary.

Caboose: I should have known… She didn’t like me… Girls, never, like me.

Tucker: Caboose, I don’t think anybody likes you.

Caboose: I like me…

Tucker: I don’t think I’ve seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she’s a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark?

Church: I’m pretty sure I’d know if Tex was a guy. And I’m definitely sure I would know if she was part shark.

Caboose: Way, oh, wait oh wait. If she’s a girl, then why is she named Tex?

Church: Uh… because she’s from Texas.

Caboose: …

Church: Trust me, it makes sense. And you can’t blame her for being so aggressive. It’s not entirely her fault to begin with.

Tucker: Right. You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now, half women, half sharks that won’t even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God!

Church: Will you shut up with that? She got recruited in to some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where, they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I’m not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell.

Caboose: A.I… What’s the A stand for?

Church: Artificial.

Caboose: …What’s the I-

Church: Intelligence.

Caboose: Ooohhhhhhhhh what was the A again?

Church: Let’s move on.

Tucker: So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she’s really just a sweet, down-home girl?

Church: Oh hell no. She’s always been a rotten b**ch, it’s just now she’s a rotten b**ch with cybernetic enhancements.

Tucker: Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there buddy, she’s a keeper.

Church: So how’re you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?

Caboose: I think so… That guy Tex is really a robot, and you’re his boyfriend. So that makes you… a gay robot.

Church: Yeah… that’s right… I’m a gay robot.