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Thoughts Well, lately I have been bored. I get only a few PMs a day which saddens me some. Really. Yes, I could be doing all sorts of stuff other than going on the computer and entering the world of Gaia, but sometimes the internet is the only way to keep myself busy. I've been thinking...I need more friends on this site. Before, I had millions of friends which was a little bit of a mistake since half of them don't even talk to me. Having a lot more literate friends would be great. thanks all my literate chums My mind wanders off too much...sigh Anyway, I typed up another entry because, I feel empty for some reason. Sometimes I wish I could travel back into the past since those times were my happiest memories, but then reality slaps me in the face. I keep thinking how long my life is on this earth, and I honestly get scared. Hope is what would describe me. I always hope for one special person to just come out of the darkness and never leave me. Even though I am a sap for romantic crap, I find a haven in a world full of possibilities. Wouldn't it be great if you found someone who could understand you and love you even though you have flaws? I would love that. Truth is, I'm waiting for that person to just put me out of my misery. People I know expect me to be a certain way...to be predictable. It would be nice if I were truly happy...if I can just know what it is like to not have feelings of anger and resentment whenever I see others being happier than I could be. Is it stupid of me to think that I could experience love? I keep thinking that, and it drives me insane. I am waiting for a person to just love me and just... shakes my head...I never had my first kiss for real. Never really got hugged by a guy who said he had a crush on me. Never even had a guy who said he liked me. I think that's sad for a sixteen-year-old. I'm getting old and not experiencing something that a girl my age usually experiences. Time passes, and the waiting process is painful. Sometimes, I do get tired of waiting but...it might be worth it in the end. It's not like I am going to throw my life away just for one guy. I want someone that I could trust and hang out with. Someone who I know won't leave me for another person...won't abandon me...and just be there when I need it. If the person I think won't read this...reads this then just please talk to me. I get worried... It sucks to have a cold at this rate, but I am trying my best to pull through to type this for my viewers and friends who read my journal. Thank you. If you have any advice that will help me keep my hopes up, then please...feel free to dish it out to me. Love for you all. ~Emily

Posted by: CrystalShyner Tue Dec 25, 2007 @ 05:31am

I love signs. <3 Feel free to offer me some.
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deleteagent48
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Commented on: Tue Dec 25, 2007 @ 06:01am


	Em, You've gotta be one of the most hopeful people I know! You can have crap catapaulted at you, and still be waiting for that trophey at the finish line! Loads of us feel for you in the whole 16 and still single thing (...even though you were born 2 years before me..eheh) so I hope you know that you're not alone and there are people who can sympathize with you. You're probably sick of me rambling (especially in this jumbley..parenthesis injected...way..ehhh sorry? sweatdrop ) and it can seem that I have nothing to worry or be really down about for real when you well..seem to, but you know you can always strike up a conversation with me. Whatever you want! If you don't want comedy, I'll settle down, if you want a chuckle, I'll spice it up. I'm your dancing monkey, kay? We're family and I'm glad to be your crutch. PM me if you want me to continue with any advice I can think of, because this is getting VERY long. Oh, and get better, you! * dumps a barrel of Roubitussin (sp?) cough drops on you*

Commented on: Tue Jan 08, 2008 @ 11:10pm


	Well, Emily, I'm glad I checked this out. I'm not far behind you, and I've yet to have any girl say she had a crush on me. No love-hugs, no first kiss yet, no nothing. I've been there. Even recently, I've found myself wishing for my person, even though I know that I can't have her yet. I'm not ready, apparently. Anyway, I know the pain and quiet suffering of waiting for your unknown beloved, and I've had moments when I've seriously questioned the entire concept of there even being a right person for me. I've yet to find a remedy for it, but it does kind of help when you think about how you're staying faithful to your loved one, despite not even knowing them yet. I've wanted my first romantic embrace, to just hold my beloved in my arms, to finally have who I'm for. All of the waiting, all of the restraining, all of the silent pleading, she will have gone through the same. The moment when it all pays off is one of the things that keeps me going, and even in my times of despair and weakness, that one moment has helped me remain waiting. How horrible would it be if I were to let her down? To have not returned the patient waiting that she has given? Just remember, don't give up. Don't give up waiting on the one who you've been made for. Don't give up waiting to find the one who was made for you. It'd be a massive mistake, and there'd be no way to fix it. Don't be the let-down. I'm here to talk if you ever get discouraged. ^^

D Kyzer
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Fangassasin93
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Commented on: Sat Jan 19, 2008 @ 04:26am


	Hey don't worry about it. You will find someone out there. You just need to be patient. As you said, in the end, it will be worth it, so just hang in there.

Commented on: Sun Mar 09, 2008 @ 04:17am


	What if even that doesn't bring you the happiness, then what?

JetAeroBurner
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CrystalShyner
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Commented on: Sun Mar 09, 2008 @ 04:22am


	It will.

Commented on: Tue Jul 08, 2008 @ 05:51pm


	I might be moving to LA soon. And if I manage to get there, I promise I'll help you in your time of need. I don't want to say that I'll love you because I don't want to break promises. But I can say, if you are who I presume you to be, then our bond will be strong. I won't feel guilty being with you anymore either. Distance won't be so cruel and, if nothing else, we'll have a REAL relationship. This of course, all depends on whether or not a certain agency wants me. I hope they do. I really want to have a chance to actually literally be with you.

JetAeroBurner
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