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Jaz's feelings and troubles
Nemo
I've been thinking for a while about how I feel about him, and recently I found out he wanted to know so now's a good time to organize my thoughts.

When I was little I had a puppy love crush on him cause he was really funny when I was little, but I was young and he could be a little monster sometimes (but all boys are like that when they're little). Eventually I left the school in 5th grade and I couldn't see him until we got into high school. What's weird is he lived two seconds away from me the whole time and I didn't know. Anyway after we found each other in high school we started hanging out at lunch and that's when I started liking him and he would come and hug me for a while which made me think that he liked me but when my new friend Rose came from out of town to come to our school he started talking to her more and he hugged her more which made me jealous so I got mad at him for a little bit but didn't say nothing. So the whole time I thought they liked each other and would eventually go out but they never did.

It turns out that he was doing that to impress me or something. And because he's reading this I say you're a stupid! So back to what I was saying. Later his best friend asked me out and I said yes cause i also kinda liked him but not as much as nemo. we had a ton of problems and we broke up got back together and broke up again and this time i got to go out with nemo! heart Well I've been beating around the bush explaining how we got here in the first place so now I'll explain how I feel about Nemo.

Well I always felt this crush sort of feel for him but when I started thinking about him the last couple of days I started to feel the same sort of feelings that I did when I went out with my ex Logan. Well more like the feelings I felt about the thought of him instead of the real him. I get flutters in my stomach at the thought of him, I get depressed when I can't talk to him, whenever I see a chance to go see him I get excited and jumpy and if i can't go I throw a fit (not really but in my head). When I talk to him I feel like I can tell him anything and I think he feels the same. I hate that I'm so unsure when I am with him or talking to him because my relationship with Logan left me really suspicious and like i said unsure. So I'm cautious but nemo hasn't given me any reason to feel that way so I feel incredibly bad and that's why i ask him some questions that are out there because I want to be sure that I'm not gonna get hurt again. I love his honesty and if he wasn't honest with me it would hurt me more than any truth anyone could ever tell me. He's funny, he's sweet, he's random, he's experienced, he knows how to treat a girl, and he is a VERY good kisser, he's romantic, and he is very much like me.

we like the same things, we have a lot of the same ideas, we match in so many areas you would think we were the same person, but that makes me wonder if that will hurt our relationship because I'm afraid that he might get bored with someone just like him because he already lives with himself why does he need to live with another one. To be honest I want our relationship to last long because he is the perfect guy. He matches all the criteria I have ever had for a boyfriend and he is everything I have never had in all of my past boyfriends. To be honest I kinda can picture a future with him but I don't think he can and he might not want to. All I know is I have experienced love once and already I'm already starting to get those feelings again I just don't want them short lived and I don't want this to make him go away.

I also recently read in my diary last night how big of a crush I really had on him last year. He was the one I liked the most and I felt so bad whenever he was with another girl. Turns out I even liked him more than L, and every other guy I liked last year. He was every thing I wanted in a guy back then and still everything I want now.

Nemo I love you and I hope you love me too.





 
 
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