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I'm sorry about my last entry but that's how I feel. Some people, well only one, wants to help me with my own problem but then they also feel as though it's a facade problem. In my head. Not real. I wish it was that way. I wish it would vanish. I'm lost. Wish some one would reach out to show me the way to a better day. I've tried, tried so hard and got nothing, so there's not much left but to wait. So I wait. I'll probably wait til my death, but atleast I was faithful to what I wanted. I wish things were as easy as people said. Just move on and find someone else. Yeah, sure I could do that but it just wouldn't be the same. I couldn't do that and lie about how I feel for whom I found, I've found the thing that means the most to me. For now I'm alone and scared of not ever seeing this one ever again. I just lost. Lost within myself. I know what I want and I know how I can get it, but I'm not going to go about it that way. If it is meant to be then there is nothing to worry about. I'm so scared about an old saying coming true. " History will repeat itself. " It is unknown to us today as to whom truely said this. From the ancient times if one must know. Anyways. I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. Just live life in the here and now. I must do what I want when I want to do it and not put it off. Must live life to the fullest as if there is no more time left. Live the day as if it were my last. Everyday. It'd be so much easier if I had something to help me along my way. So now I'm left alone to contemplate and to anticipate. Left to wait. Only thing left to do. I must go now. Heaven is Love. Peace.
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