Trying to look into the future, i see nothing. No career, no kids, no husbad, no house, no car....nothing. I'm worried for this. I do want these things but can I make it happen? Can I push myself to achieve these goals?
My answer to all of this is no. Im the type of person who gives up pretty quickly. When I know i cant do it at all, i give up. Why bother trying if you know your going to fail. I do want things in life but I dont think I cant do it. I've always wanted to be a cop or vet or an ASPCA officer.But, someone doesnt want me to be these things so i automatically think that she thinks i cant do it & i know i cant do it.
My mom wants me to have a career in the art field. As much as i love art, i dont love it enough for it to be my career. She comes and tells me how i cant be a cop of any sort because I see a psychiatrist. So for that matter, they wont give me a gun because they are going to think im crazy. So now, im here trying to figure out what to do with my life.
In my junior year, i only have a few months left to pick out my career so i can pick out my college. This puts even more stress and pressure on me because i dont know what to do anymore. Me and my best friend would always say how we were going to strip or do porn for back-up. But thats something that im not comfortable with. I do not want to degrade myself by doing this but if worse comes to worse i probably have to do it.
In my opinion, i see myself as the next Mimi Marquez in RENT but without the crack lol. Im going to be living in a loft on Avenue B with no heat and strip for a living. Sad isnt it?
 thisDoRkluvsu · Tue Apr 22, 2008 @ 04:23pm · 1 Comments |
