If anyone is reading this, I need advice on a love/friends problem. Please read and comment...
We start the story with me. A first year university student with a recently booming social life. I have lots of friends, most of whom are popular, interesting, and generally "cool". I go to parties, clubs, and other things with these people, and I was having a lot of fun.
But I have always been something of a nerd at heart. As well as being a social butterfly I just want to hang out with a bunch of geeky guys and play Dungeons and Dragons. And that's what I started doing.
Of course, my "cool" friends mostly accepted this. There were a few jokes here and there, but all was fine because they liked me enough to let me do what I want.
Eventually I developed a crush on one of the geeky guys. He's not particularly good looking, but he's quite funny, and very nice to me. We'll call him 'Danny' for now. We were getting along great when a few of my "cool" friends started to catch on.
One of these friends is George. He's something of a ring-leader of our "posse". He's popular, charismatic, and loves to party. I'm actually fairly good friends with him. When he figured out that I like this nerdy, unattractive guy, he seemed to think it necessary to insult the guy. In a room that I was obviously in. He said how ugly Danny was (in many different ways) and how he hated him. And it hurt. A lot. I was both pissed off and upset.
I managed to avoid George for a good while, until he finally came to talk to me in the cafeteria. He seemed apologetic, except that he still couldn't understand how a good-looking girl like me was interested in an ugly guy like Danny (and don't worry, George wouldn't be hitting on me). I don't usually become angry with people, but in this case I made an exception. I lost it. A few people even turned their heads to see what was wrong because of my anger and tears. At the end of our conversation, though, we had managed to make up, and come to a conclusion. He wouldn't put down my other friends in my presents.
Now, everything seems fine, right? Wrong. Because I am a fickle teenager who will still be depressed after the fact. Now I am having doubts about this guy I like. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of being ridiculed, or maybe I am just shallow after all. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to be with Danny, and afraid I might hurt him in the process of letting go (I'm pretty sure he likes me back *cough*). And I don't know if I can still hang out with these two groups of friends. I feel so... torn. Should I be the nerd-girl I was, or the social butterfly I have become?
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aleria-chan
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