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I somewhat know how you feel.
I can't say I really know because i'm not you but i can try to understand.
people say when you're older you shouldn't cry and that crying is for the weak.
others say that if you want to cry just cry it out.

i've felt sick about everything i've ever done in my entire life.
maybe because i'm so selfconcious.
you don't have to do anything or say anything
as long as you're comfortable
and you won!!
you should at least gie yourself that much credit.